OPINION: If Palmerston North can get its own Monopoly edition, why not Hawke's Bay?
The Manawatū city has secured the honour as part of its 150th anniversary celebrations. Its council is keeping tight-lipped on exactly what will go on each space on the board.
I'm thinking that playing it will be like trying to navigate around The Square on any given day.
The news got me thinking how fun it'd be to dream up a Hawke's Bay-themed Monopoly.
So over half a packet of chocolate biscuits I gave it a go.
I started with the four stations: Without a functioning passenger rail network I immediately had to get a tad creative. Napier Port and Hawke's Bay Airport take two spots and the miniature trains at Anderson Park and Keirunga Gardens sneak into the other two spots.
Water works and electric company are also a challenge, given how badly Hawke's Bay's water assets have failed in recent times.
In other modern versions, the pair have been allowed to become other utilities. With that in mind one goes to the Havelock North 4G Spark tower and the other, once it's built, the Harapaki Wind Farm near Te Pohue.
Now to the streets and continuing with the water woes, the first brown spot goes to the infamous Brookvale Rd in Havelock North. Dannevirke's High St slips into the other on the back of its recent boil water notices.
To the light blue streets - Clifton Rd in Haumoana, The Esplanade in Westshore and Mahia East Coast Rd. As beautiful as they are, they're all set to disappear under light blue seawater in future unless we get it together to solve climate change.
Next up are the purple streets, where we give a shout out to State Highway 5, State Highway 2 and State Highway 51. The trio of them has caused so many design arguments in recent years we're all a bit purple in the face.
The orange streets go to the best ones to be on when the leaves and vines turn orange – Ormond Rd near Hastings, Waimarama Rd south of Havelock and Church Rd, near Taradale.
Then there are the red streets. Let's just say there are a lot of red streets in Hawke's Bay and leave it at that.
Onto the yellow and we're starting to get to the business end. Waipukurau's Ruataniwha St sneaks in, as does Shakespeare Rd in Napier and the never-ending epic that is Flaxmere Ave.
The green streets are when Napier's dominance kicks in – Kennedy Rd and Ahuriri's Hardinge Rd take out the first two, while a combined Heretaunga St (West and East) constitutes Hastings' most expensive real estate.
The big two dark blues, the Park Lane and Mayfair of Hawke's Bay are taken by Napier's top two - Emerson St and Marine Parade - with Marine Parade as the priciest.
It made it to the original version of NZ Monopoly when it was first produced in the 70s and there's no reason to knock it back now – the quintessential pines, the Art Deco, the seafront play areas – it is still Hawke's Bay's top stretch of real estate.
One thing's for sure right now. If you chuck a house or two on these streets you're guaranteed to make it back in rent.
Building a hotel in this economy though? That's a roll of the dice.