KAPAI'S CORNER - Column

Cool day with my cuz at half triathlon
Kia ora my name is WaiGirl and I am 6. Dad's gone up the line to his old hippy haunt in Coromandel to a script writers retreat, whatever that is - so he arksed me to right his colim.
Anyway what's a hippy? My cuzzin Tiarini who I call Cuzzin says a hippy is like really old people who go into hostipal to have their hips replaced so maybe that's what Dad is doing up there in hippyland.
Me and Cuzzin had a cool day on Saturday watching the Half Iron man with Dad before he left. Don't know why they call it half iron man cos there was some women in it too and we didn't see one single half a person.
We was over there watching our Uncles Riki, pictured, and Jack and man they were tired as in the hot sun but when we started to cheer for them they got all buzzed up and started running fast as again. It was wicked.
Maybe it was Mauao that kept them going cos Uncle Riki had this huge as smile on his face when he finished and Dad reckoned his maunga that means mountain guided him home. Yeah right Dad - you hippies get a bit cosmic in your old age, no wonder those Ngati Whingers give you a hard time in the local letters to the editor.
Uncle Riki was number 710 and Uncle Jack was 718 and my Dad reckoned they was inspirational for all the fat Maori fullas like him and that's why we went to tautoko them.
Yeah sometimes I call my Dad Humpty Dumpty cos he's got a big puku but guess what? Some of those iron mans and iron women's they had big pukus and some even had big as bums that wobbled like jelly - but they still ran hard out all the way to the finish line. And all the peoples were clapping loud as for them like they was rock stars - specially for the ones with big bums. Hard-case eh?
In the half a Iron man there was heaps of baby boomers.
My Dad reckons he's a baby boomer and when I have my 21st he is going to be 70 something, so that will make him a happy hippy and a baby boomer.
Sounds pretty cool eh?
Did you know that in England heaps of peoples are living till they are 100 now. Over 3 million peoples are that old there and they get a letter from the Queen. She must get tired writing all those letters eh?
Same goes here there are 5000 fullas that still drive cars and are over 90. Dad reckons 70 is the old 60 so I guess I am starting to catch him up already and I'm only 6.
Man it will take ages till I am big and can be a half iron woman but Dad says old age is a privilege that not everyone gets to experience so waiting to be is well worth it.
Us kids don't like waiting much; Dad says we are an instant gratification generation whatever that means, must be like an instant pudding eh.
Man it was a long wait for our Uncles to finish. Cuzzin and me yelled so loud for Uncle Riki and Uncle Jack that Dad said we deserved a treat so we got Burger Kings and guess what? When we was in there so was heaps of the fullas from the Iron Mans. They must have been hungry as specially the ones with the big pukus and big bums who Dad reckons dream of a big feed when they get tired cos they only eat rabbit food while they were training.
Mind you Dad wasn't training and he still had a BK feed. Reckons he would have had a go if it was a quarter iron man. Must be why he ordered a quarter-pounder and a diet coke.
Blingin Humpty Dumpty - he better watch out or he's gonna fall off that fat fulla wall and never get his warrant of fatness back.
So why do they call it half a iron man, do they have the other half next week or what? Some mens had T-shirts that said "Go Peter Go", for that news reader fulla Peter Williams, but he still looked stuffed.
Next Year me and Cuzzin might get some T-shirts saying "Uma Riki Uma" for our Uncle. That means Run Riki Run.
Spose he doesn't really need them cos he was ways in front of Go Peter Go.
Yes they was inspirational Uncle Riki and Uncle Jack.
Me and Cuzzin we reckoned they were much more than half a iron man they were a whole one - and they was inspirational.
broblack@xtra.co.nz