KAPAI'S CORNER: Bay purveyors of lickable treats cream icy rivals

IT'S official, when it comes to doing our tongues a flavour, we have the rest of the long white cloud licked, and have now been crowned the ice cream  capital of the country.
Kiwis licked their way through 17 million scoops of TipTop last year and here in the Bay we took the national title by licking our way through 1.7 million, and our local Bethlehem Four square has been named the high roller of them all.
When it comes to household names of happiness - served up in a cone, we all have our favourites. Back in the day when Choc Bombs were the benchmark of flash ice creams they really only had Eskimo pies as a contender. And then along came Trumpets and blew them both away.
My earliest memory of ice creams was when we went for a Sunday drive in our putterbombom Mark 1 Zephyr, to dig up a feed of Papamoa pipi. This was a big deal day out and depending on how big the scoop was that Dad had creamed off Bob Skelton and the local bookie would determine how big the scoop was for us kids.
Yep when Dad struck the double the big day out was turned into a real gay time by Dad dishing out a dozen double coners for us carload of kids.
Just bringing them out to the car was a balancing act in itself with two half dozen cone holders fully laden, fed through the side window of our Mark 1. They were gone quicker than free tickets to the arts festival.
And as soon as they hit our hot little hands it was all on to see who could make theirs' last the longest. Because in doing so gave you putterbombom bragging rights to tease the others about how nice and how many licks you still had left in your cone.
Back in the day we all had our favorite ice cream outlets as we still do today. Dairies like Askews, The Busy Bee, Esperanza, Trev's Dairy, Lee Mount on the corner opposite the not there then Mount Hot Pools, as well as Tay St dairy were some of our best spots. But for my two bobs worth of big scoops Adams Bruce had all the rest licked.
Friday night and an Adams Bruce ice cream after shopping at Woolies could only be bettered by being in the back seat of our putterbombom Mark I, watching the light show of the Memorial Park water fountain. It really was heaven on a stick for us kids.
Then a bit further down the track old Greensleeves, aka Mr Whippy, showed up down our streets and whenever we heard the music there was a stampede to beg Mum for sixpence.
My Uncle Heeni soon fixed old Greensleeves up for good by telling us kids Mr Whippy only played his music when he had run out of ice cream. And the rest of the time when his truck was tuneless it was his shout.
No wonder he was such a brilliant bookie my Uncle Heeni, cos he never paid out bugger all for ice creams when it came to Mr Whippy's that's for sure.
And now these days where once stood our little hot dog shop called the Doggy Box, now stands the creme de la creme of ice creams - the Copenhagen cone.
You need a heavy traffic licence to drive one of these ginormous cones and to buy one you need to either be a bookie or own a full face balaclava.
But no matter what size, shape or flavour of the ice cream - and its licker, there is always the same sad face when the scooper hasn't anchored the ice cream to the cone, and it tumbles to the tarsal or wherever else you may be walking on at the time. Who of us have not tried to rescue a tumbled tiptop by picking out pieces of gravel before our tamariki are any wiser?
And who came up with all those suggestive ice cream marketing one liners?
"Frosty Boy - Often licked never beaten" must have been one of Chris Carter's mates or could it have been Boy George in a past life who called out for our country to "Let's all have a Gay Time"
Who ever it was we have been slurping and licking our way through more scoops than all of the other Frosty Boys and Gay Time Girls in Aotearoa, and now we can proudly wear the crown of ice cream  capital of the country.
tommykapai@gmail.com