THE call to all for Christmas is full on and the Christmas spirit is pouring out of supermarkets by the trolleyfull. Churches are filling up faster than Santa's sack as part-time believers hear the call and put a bob each way on God.
Tamariki across Tauranga are counting down the sleeps til Santa shows up and parents are counting up the cost of their instant gratification generation, who all want the big ticket brands, and want them right now.
The three clever fullas are on their wholly hikoi to Bethlehem and rumours of an early sighting were confused with three other clever fullas, our three MPs Simple Simon, Tory Tony and Tumeke Flavell, who have all done the hard yards for Tauranga Moana, as have our two culturally cool mayors Smooth Stu and Ross Te Boss.
Some of Santa's requests are whacky and weird but nothing compares to the born-again Bro Winston, who asked Hanakoko (Santa) for a Tino Rangatiratanga Maori flag. According to another flag flyer, HoriBop, Winston wants to fly it from the new Tauranga Bridge in honour of not being invited to its opening.
And it's not just the three clever fullas heading to Bethlehem at this time of the year. Every Christmas card collector in the country is also on a hikoi to Peterehema, to get the royal residence of Jesus stamped across their snow-covered Christmas cards.
Which begs the question, where's the snow, bro?
Or could it be that it's only Michael Laws and Leighton's redneck listeners who are dreaming of a white Christmas?
Remember the olden days when we all hung rows of Chrissy cards across our lounge room windows like badges of popularity? And how some were self addressed to beef up the badges?
So Meri Kirimete one and all.
To Howie and Hawea, Freddy and Wong, Ricky and Dougy - and all friends who have gone. We wish you all rest.
And to all of your whanau we wish you the blessed.
To our hospices and hospitals, Homes of Hope and our refuge safe houses. And our teachers and preachers in our kohanga and kura. Our whanau in prisons and to all the lost souls who have no place to call home. To our loyal Maori Wardens and our brave Boys in Blue
A merry Merry Christmas to the whole lot of you.
And perhaps as a present to all who behave badly. Give them a bracelet for their wrist, acting like a home detention band. This will be a well wrapped present for the whole community as it will ban all the boozers and losers from the Strand?
Meri Kirimete Mauao, and all who catch her light.
To the grateful deads and newlyweds and every one else in between. To the Awhi Angels of Tauranga who give heaps and ask for nothing in return - may you get your just desserts this Christmas.
Meri Kirimete to our marae, our shelter from bygone storms and our launching pads into the future. To all of our whanau and friends who keep our marae fires burning and their environmentally friendly and clean, we wish you a meri Maori Christmas.
And just like Copenhagen, a call to all this Christmas is never too late when it comes to giving away what you don't need to keep our planet clean.
Sure it's easy to dismiss with "anything I do is just a drop in the bucket, been there done that and maybe I'll look at it again tomorrow, and besides I am already recycling my bins and beliefs". But it just may be we are running out of Christmases to worry about it tomorrow. For my two bobs' worth of giving it's never too late to hear the call.
So Meri Kirimete u fullas Kia Kaha - stand tall.
We wish you a Maori Christmas and a pipi New Year.
tommykapai@gmail.com
KAPAI'S CORNER: A Maori Christmas and a pipi New Year to everyone
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