KAPAI: Plenty of hot spots around Play of Plenty

Given that it's the season of weird weather I thought I would do a hot and cold column calling it What's Wera (hot) and What's Not
First cab off the wera rank is the wera waiariki or the hot pools. The new conceptual drawings for the proposed extensions are brilliant and will add a new level of laxing-out to what is already a toanga (treasure) of Tauranga Moana.
Sure the ngati whingers, who have been camping there for four-fifths of four-pence for what seems like forever, will want to moan about moving their pup tents and kiddie campers a few feet along the lawn. But as our Aunty Mabel says on the Four Square ad "How inconvenient".
And while in the Adams Ave area, what is also very wera are our park rangers who manage our sacred maunga in a way that reflects the high regard they hold for Mauao and honours the ownership we share.
What's not so hot is the poor showing of tangata whenua to the working bee days that have been hosted by The Friends of Mauao care group. Owning it is one thing but looking after it is when our true colours need to be shown. When I walk her tracks and marvel at the trees we planted when I worked for the council, back when campers paid a pittance to camp on her apron, it makes the hikoi so much more rewarding.
And while parking tents and planting pohutukawa may not be the hottest happening in the Play of Plenty, what is wickedly wera is the legalese of Hemi Smylie who must be smiling all the way to the refund counter now he has cracked the council's parking code. Hemi and Joe Karam are like true blue fox terriers or jack russells who won't give in to rough justice.
What is rough justice and not hot at all unless you are breathing it, is the hormonal defoliant sprays we are exposed to without the courtesy of a phone call to advise us, as required by law. Perhaps a perfect partnership between Investigate magazine, which was in town this week, and a couple of local lawyers could be formed to crack the Clean Air Act that has been abused by chemical cowboys for far too long.
Environmental BOP slapping wet bus ticket fines on contractors and orchard owners, who continually fail to notify neighbours, is about as effective as giving a Vietnam vet a medal for compensation from Agent Orange.
And when it comes to fighting fires with water you don't have, what is hot over in Ngati Skippy Land is your local Aboriginal trackers who can determine the weather by watching the flocking of cockatoos and flowering of wattles.
The Bureau of Australian Meteorology has exhausted all avenues of reliable rain prediction and since they have started studying the Aboriginals use of the seven seasons, their forecasts of rain have been mainly spot on. I wonder if that will move Hone Howard to finally say sorry to the stolen generation who were taken from the families of his new-found land of weather watchers? Yeah right.
But what is really hot and hot off the Press is what happened on a recent British Airways flight and is a lesson learned for us all.
A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. "You obviously do not see it then?" she asked.
"You placed me next to a black man. I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me another seat."
"Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the other places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another seat is available."
The hostess went away and returned a few minutes later.
"Madam, just as I thought, there is no other available seats in economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me there is no seat in business class. All the same, we still have one place in first class."
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued.
"It is unusual for our company to permit someone from economy class to sit in first class however, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting.""
She then turned to the black guy and said "Therefore sir, if you would like to collect your hand luggage, a seat in first class awaits you".
At that moment, the other passengers, who were shocked by what they had witnessed, stood and applauded.
Have a happy week. To the hottest person on the planet Happy Mommas Day, mon petite fleur.