It made me sad that when seven of our MPs stood up in Parliament on Wednesday and spoke about being victims of sexual violence, some for the first time, they were immediately shut down by the Speaker of the House. It made me sad that when those seven MPs said they were offended by Key's statement and it should be struck from the record, our elected leader refused to apologise.
Rape is not a flippant issue to be bandied about in the hope of scoring points against the opposition, John.
It made me sad that the victims of violence that chose to stand up and talk about their experience weren't listened to. They should have been. And yes, while it could be argued that the MPs were not strictly following the rules of the house, sexual and domestic violence is a huge issue in this country. Victims of it deserve our respect and support, no matter when they choose to speak up about it.
It made me sad that the victims of violence that chose to stand up and talk about their experience weren't listened to. They should have been.
The people who sit in Parliament aren't there for the big, fat pay cheques or the rousing debate. (Well, they're not supposed to be.) They are us, you and I. They represent all of us, as a nation. Those seven MPs represent the one in four women and one in eight men who are victims of sexual violence in this country. They deserve to be heard. But instead they were silenced.
Green Party co-leader Metiria Turei revealed she had been the victim of sexual assault but had not reported it to police for fear of not being believed. "There's a point at which you have to disclose some details to genuinely represent the people who sent us here," she said.
It makes me sad that whenever John Key says or does something that I would consider unacceptable in normal society, such as pulling a cafe worker's ponytail, the online comments I see are people collectively shaking their heads, then laughing it off. "Oh, he's just our country's awkward dad," I've heard it said. He doesn't mean any harm. Yeah, it's embarrassing, but it's not doing any damage. Old Teflon John, at it again. But it is damaging.
New Zealand has an appalling rape culture. We have a history of victim-blaming - those age-old questions of "how short was your skirt?" or "had you been drinking?".
And of course there have been instances where the authorities have not listened to those who have experienced horrific, life-changing trauma at the hands of others - the Roastbusters and Louise Nicholas are two high-profile cases. Turei didn't even report her experience for fear of not being listened to. How many other Kiwi women are the same?
Green Party social affairs spokeswoman Jan Logie revealed that she was sexually assaulted on a date when she was at university. She did not press charges, saying it was still a challenge for society "to feel as if we've got a right to do that". Women should feel safe in reporting a crime, any crime, not as though it's not their place to do so.
This week we had a chance to change our cultural attitudes toward sexual assault. But instead, Uncle John floundered it. I'm usually so proud to call myself a Kiwi, but this week's events have been shameful. New Zealanders believe in respect. We believe in fair play. The behaviour in Parliament this week has been anything but fair play. And it has certainly not been respectful.
When adults make mistakes, the right thing to do is apologise to those hurt so we can all learn from it and move on. It's just one little word, John. But sorry seems to be the hardest one.
