Breastfeeding beyond any boundaries

How old is too old? This month's Time magazine cover, featuring a 26-year-old woman defiantly breastfeeding her 3-year-old son, has reignited the debate on the right age to wean and the philosophy of attachment parenting.

Advocates say the weaning age is a personal choice but opponents have voiced concerns about the social development of the child.

One Papamoa-based mother, who breastfeeds her 5-year-old son, said the decision should be a personal one and not one imposed by society.

"I don't see why it should even be a debate. It's seen as alternative but it's not, it's natural and between a mother and her child. It's more natural than using formula and I think there's benefits for the immune system; my son hasn't been to the doctor since his six-monthly check-up."

But child psychotherapist Augustina Driessen said there was no need to breastfeed to such an age.



"If they're breastfeeding up to five, I think that's unnatural. It's getting ridiculous. I think by that age, it's more for the mother's comfort than the child's. It's an emotional attachment for the mother as well, it's very intimate and she needs time to grieve, but breastfeeding to that age is over-the-top. It suggests to me that the mother cannot let go."

Driessen, who has been a child psychotherapist for 20 years, is an advocate of attachment parenting but said "things need to be kept in perspective".

"Attachment parenting is about the availability of the mother to meet the baby's needs in those early stages when the neurons are multiplying. It's really important that the mother is available for the baby then but the baby becomes autonomous by around age three so there is no need to breastfeed beyond that."

Driessen, of Whakamarama, said continued breastfeeding beyond 3 years old could create problems in the future.

"I think it's about instant gratification for the child. You are teaching the child they can have what they want, when they want and I think that will have an unbalancing effect. That is what we see nowadays in today's society, children stamping their feet saying I want that Playstation or mobile phone."

The 42-year-old Papamoa-based mother, who did not want to be named, said breastfeeding beyond toddlerhood had not been a conscious decision.

"It's a shame that women like me don't feel comfortable giving their names because of the possible repercussions. It couldn't be more natural. It's definitely not something I've pushed on him. There just never seemed to be a right time or a good reason, emotionally or psychologically, to stop. He benefits from it and when he wants to stop, it will stop. He's old enough to make that choice."

Asked whether her friends and peers accepted her decision, she said not many knew about it.

"Other people wouldn't necessarily be aware of it but I think my husband feels it should have run its course by now. It's not something I do at the school gate. My son normally breastfeeds once a day at night. It will come to a natural end and I think that age is different for each child."

The woman, who was a working mother with a professional job, said the decision to breastfeed into childhood was often portrayed as alternative, or "hippy", but was more mainstream than many thought.

La Leche League leader Joanna Pearson, who advocated personal choice in decision-making, had breastfed three of her children to two and beyond and was currently breastfeeding her 14-month-old daughter. She said mothers needed support for all styles of parenting.

Pearson, of Judea, said she felt the Time magazine cover title "Are You Mom Enough?" had been provocative and separatist.

"I didn't like the thought of being put into one box or another and being seen as right or wrong because of it. Everyone takes decisions for themselves."

Another mother, who breastfed both her 3-year-old and 17-month-old daughters, said a sexual element had been brought into the debate by the Time magazine cover which should not be there. She also questioned the role the makers and marketers of baby formula played.

"It's promoted to such an extent that women almost feel why not just go on to formula? It's seen as an easy option. I'm not for, or against, formula. It has a part to play but a lot of people are making a lot of money off it. Breastfeeding might not be easier but it is a lot cheaper."

Trudy Hart, an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, agreed. She said: "The science behind breastfeeding is compelling, it's the highest calorie food you can feed your child".

And the advantages continued beyond toddlerhood, she said.

"Even as the child gets older there are still advantages with breast milk. A mother's breast milk creates antibodies depending on what the mother is exposed to, so the child is getting the best antibodies."

Hart, a mother-of-four whose children weaned between the ages of 1 and 4, said: "It's just about meeting their needs and each child is different. They naturally wean themselves off, their lives get busier, some want more food than breast, they're all different.

"Some have said breastfeeding until a later age creates needier children but that's not backed up by the science. Science is saying that those who have their needs met by the mother are more independent and outgoing and my children are good examples of that. Because their needs are met by the mother, there is no need for dummies or blankies or anything like that."

She said there was often a lot of negative reaction about breastfeeding generally simply because it was not a cultural norm.

"Some mothers are getting abused for breastfeeding in public when all that is seen is the back of the baby's head. That's less than a lot of women show in a bikini. That is down to breastfeeding in public not being a cultural norm, if more did it, and it was seen more often, it would be seen as being more normal."

Many health organisations and medical professionals would not take a stand on the breastfeeding issue.

Nikki Hooper, spokesperson for The Royal New Zealand Plunket Society, said: "It's up to each parent to make their own decisions around how they choose to raise their children".

Similarly Lisa McOnie, a midwife at the Bay Midwifery Centre in Fraser Street, Tauranga, said the WHO (World Health Organisation) guidance was to breastfeed until at least six months old. However, she said it was a family decision. "Some will go to six months but others will go to three or four years old, it's their choice".