People pleasing sucks. Just don't go down that sticky and soul-destroying path.

Feel like you are living within a stereotype? Well, that's suffocating.

After all, trying to fit into someone's expectations is like living in a straitjacket. It's not even a tiny bit comfortable, nor attractive.


The haters are going to hate, anyway. The people who are non-stop complainers ain't never gonna quit that ****!

Get away from them! Or if you can't avoid them, mindfully spend less time in the same room, and breathing the same oxygen, as them.

Surround yourself instead with people who like you for you, who care about you, and who aren't toxic. These people make you feel good inside, not anxious.

To be happy, you have to decide to be authentically you, too. Live your own life and focus on what you want and how to get there.

Care less about what's going on around you. You have to learn how to be happy within your own skin and do things that give you purpose and pleasure.

Understand and own your own flaws too - and then work on them. Spend your energy on improving yourself instead and the world around you.

Rachel Grunwell. Photo / Supplied
Rachel Grunwell. Photo / Supplied

Don't waste energy trying to tear others down or get sucked into that repeat cycle of non-stop hating and complaining. No one wants to surround themselves with people like that. They're zero fun.

Be a goddess full of kindness and unapologetic positivity instead.


Maybe it's an age thing, but I quit unnecessary people pleasing a while ago.

Besides, I'm too busy for that. I give my time to stuff that I give a stuff about. I decided to not give a stuff about social expectations. Stuff people who don't give a stuff about me. Stuff surrounding myself with negative people.

I gathered together my self-confidence and decided to be brave and focus on what's right in the world and where I could help instead.

I decided to focus my attention on being around inspiring, motivating peers. Or I help people who genuinely need help to get ahead.

This positive outlook has helped to shift my energy ten-fold. I've discovered that what I focus in on propels how I feel. So I focus on things that lift me up and I try my best to lift others up too. The world needs a lot more of that.

I recommend doing a life audit. Cut those things that drag you down and suffocate you. Burn that straitjacket that's suffocating. Choose to live life being authentically you and vow to stop complaining, or hanging out with complainers.

As for the things you can't change? Just take a view that "it is, how it is" and move on. Accept things you can't change and don't focus in on any unnecessary drama.

Live bold, brave and aim to live a life you love. You can start today.

Rachel Grunwell coaches clients to be healthier and happier through private wellness coaching (on food, fitness and lifestyle choices), as well as leading Rotorua's Mindful Moments retreats at the Polynesian Spa. Follow her via her blog InspiredHealthNZ Facebook Rachel's Instagram