Sideswipe

A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: January 9: Hole in frog

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David Stone writes: "No frog was injured during this game of golf, though the standard of play did cause some amusement on the Tapora Golf Course, Kaipara".

More painful childhood memories

Virginia Paquay writes: "In 1943 at primary school I had a famous rugby player and school teacher, Eric Boggs, who give me 'six of the best' for some spelling errors! I guess I got the strap on my bare palms because I was a girl. Boys got them through their trousers which, perhaps didn't hurt as much! And at home for the sin of boiling the kettle dry when I was 5 years old (several times) my father would tell me to 'bring the stick, take your pants down, turn around and back up here', whereupon I received several whacks on my poor skinny little bare bum. But I did get away with one hiding once ... my mother had taught me the rudiments of driving while sitting on an apple box on the passenger's side, because the car had only one seat! I drove into the closed garage door, oops, and mother gave my lovely Uncle Eggie the job of giving me a 'going over' with his razor strop. As he was a gentle soul, we came to an arrangement. He sat on the glory box in the hall nursing the strop while I ran around noisily yelling 'oww, oww' and stamping my feet on the floor, both of us grinning madly.

Everyone should have an Uncle Eggie!"

True grit

Question: "There is a life-sized portrait of Dan Carter in Lynn Mall wearing only his underwear," writes Greg Cave. "It has the caption 'underwear with grit'. Am I the only one who would find it extremely uncomfortable if there was grit of any sort in my underwear?" Answer: As 'spokespelvis' for Jockey, Dan Carter has teamed up with Les Mills and is marketing the gym's so-called Grit class. So it's grit as in resolve, rather than small loose particles of stone or sand in your undies.

Oscars tumble a piece of cake

"I was waiting to hear if my name was called, and I kept thinking, cakewalk, cakewalk, cakewalk. I thought, Why is cakewalk stuck in my head? And then, as I started to walk up the stairs and the fabric from my dress tucked under my feet, I realised my stylist had told me, 'Kick, walk, kick, walk.' You are supposed to kick the dress out while you walk, and I forgot because I was thinking about cake! And that's why I fell." Jennifer Lawrence to W magazine on why she tripped at the Oscars.

Jess saw this at Albany Pak'n Save. "Can't tell if the box cutters there love or hate their job."

Local: Want to buy a Boeing 747? You can!

Film: The word "fuck" is uttered 503 times in the new Scorsese film Wolf of Wall Street, thus topping the wiki List of films that most frequently use the word "fuck"

Picture this: The very best passive /aggressive notes from 2013...

History: Before street lights there were Moonlight Towers...

Video: Is This Lovc?

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz.

- NZ Herald

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