Snap, cracker and flop

Expensive crackers don't guarantee better hats and toys. Photo / Herald on Sunday

When it comes to getting more bang for your buck, Christmas crackers don't always deliver.

With the festive season fast approaching, the Herald on Sunday bought four packs of the yuletide treats to compare the hats, jokes and toys.

Judging by the reactions of our testers, expensive crackers don't guarantee better hats and toys. And while no one expects cracker jokes to be groundbreaking works of comic genius, professional comedian Ewen Gilmour was underwhelmed by the humour on display.

The most expensive crackers contained some of the worst jokes, flimsiest hats and most unusual toys.

The cheapest came from The Warehouse. Costing $8.99 for 12, they looked good and created an exciting "cracking" sound for just 75 cents each.

The most disappointing were the $14.99 pack of 12 Woolworth's Christmas Bon Bons, which contained a muffled "bang" and flimsy hats.

We also tested a pack of 12 ($45.90) from Smith & Caughey's and musical crackers from Living & Giving (eight for $44.90).

The Smith & Caughey's crackers rated highly on noise, but disappointed with their jokes, hats and toys - which included a plastic paper clip and keyrings.

Each of the Living & Giving crackers contained a musical whistle, all tuned to a different note, to encourage guests to whistle carols together. But each one had the same toy, which ruined any surprise.

Toy expert and Toy Planet owner Kevin Maines, said crackers should be judged mainly by the noise they made.

"The crack of the crackers is categorically important - you've got to have it because that's what everyone gets excited about. It's got to have a bit of a pop and bang and scare the young children a bit."

The toys could be swapped around the table, but Maines said getting a serious toy was not nearly as exciting as getting a fun one.

"You might need a nail clipper but you don't necessarily want one in your cracker - it can be boring as hell.

"At least a small deck of cards is interesting," he said.

Paper hats should be colourful - and big enough to fit everyone's head, said Maines.

"You might have a lively family who will all wear their hats and drink a lot of alcohol and have fun with it, and they will care about having a good, colourful hat."

Gilmour said cracker jokes were difficult to write because they had to appeal to a wide range of ages and it could be hard for amateurs to get the timing right.

"You've normally got your Grandma at the table, and maybe a 4-year-old, so you've got to keep everyone entertained without offending anybody," he said. "Each joke has to be judged on its laughability, but they all tend to be quite predictable and pretty shocking to be honest."

None of the retailers returned calls to discuss the quality of their crackers.