Raybon Kan

says, even the cover band fell through.

I suppose you can't cover Springsteen songs for decades and not absorb some of his values.

Individual Rockettes have been given dispensation to conscientiously object. (Maybe the remaining dancers can tap-dance protest messages in Morse code.) A 16-year-old singer, who came second on a talent show, in future will say she was too young to make up her own mind.

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Trump's inauguration will be a showcase of the good, the bad and the bigly. Minus the good.

It should really be Trump's coronation, his victory lap (dance), the rally where even those he vanquished have to show up, not look away, not close their eyes, and have their noses ceremoniously rubbed in it.

Paul Anka was going to perform My Way, because I Alone Can Fix isn't yet a song.

Besides, doing it Trump's way, ie, inheriting a fortune, then rorting bankruptcy laws, then laundering money, then being installed by Putin, is the definition of being self-made. But having said yes, Paul Anka realised he had a prior commitment. An obligation to his back catalogue? A family picnic? Disney sequels about to fall off Netflix?

Never mind. If they struggle to find entertainment, I'm sure Julian Assange can help them download a recent movie. It might shake a bit, and feature the backs of heads of other people in the cinema, and Ecuador's data plan can pay for it.

Hopefully, it'll be one of those uplifting movies where the rich racist bully triumphs over morality, and becomes infinitely richer.

Still, the entertainment is, literally, the side-show.

Bond movies taught us to fear the rise of an evil genius - then an evil moron showed up who was just as dangerous. Photo / Supplied
Bond movies taught us to fear the rise of an evil genius - then an evil moron showed up who was just as dangerous. Photo / Supplied

The real issue is the collapse of liberal democracy, the disintegration of Europe, and the rise of Putin's personal empire. How fragile was it all? Jenga fragile. Brexit was a central piece. The wobbles and warnings weren't enough to deter America.

This week emerged the statistic that eight individual men, famous billionaires, have the same wealth as the bottom half of the world. Now that's some weapons-grade inequality.

Missing from that stat, however, is the personal wealth of Putin. Where does Putin rank? Does he mind not being recognised in that list? I'm sure that brave Russian investigative journalists will deliver this information, once they manage to reincarnate.

Trump's adversary, standing up to preserve Europe, is Angela Merkel, who knows and fears authoritarianism because she survived East Germany.

Accordingly, Trump attacked Germany, for not importing enough American cars.

"If you go down Fifth Avenue, everyone has a Mercedes Benz in front of his house, isn't that the case?" Trump said. "How many Chevrolets do you see in Germany? Not very many, maybe none at all ... it's a one-way street." Actual quote.

So he thinks trade is about swapping similar items, like the dumbest, most redundant version of barter. He thinks if one country exports milk, they should also import milk. If one country exports computer chips, they should also import them. This defies the point of specialising, which is how trade works.

But his statements carry because his audience aren't really listening. They're just waiting for the cue to honk their truck horns.

This is why his supporters are fine with half a dozen Goldman Sachs Cabinet appointees, though during the campaign, three speeches to Goldman Sachs was proof that Hillary was crooked. Because Trump says.

All this time, watching Bond movies, we were worried about an evil genius, when really, an evil moron was just as dangerous.

If Trump misspells his tweets, or addresses them to the wrong Ivanka, it's probably because he thinks it counts as encryption. On the say-so of Rudy Giuliani, Trump's Cabinet pick to run cyber-security. Spitting, drooling, geri-asinine Rudy Giuliani, whose glasses are never on straight, who doesn't look like he could save an attachment.

Trump's inner circle likely advised him to hire a millennial for cyber-security, so he went for someone 1000 years old.

Meanwhile, Putin himself has come out to deny having dirt on Trump.

"It is hard to believe that he ran to a hotel to meet with our girls of a low social class, although they are the best in the world," Putin said. (Another actual quote.)

And closing out Putin's pyramid, Theresa May said Britain should leave the Single Market, though Leave campaigners specifically denied this before the vote. History really is written by the winners.

Maybe Brexit was the wrong word to vote on. Too vague?

Would Leave have won if the vote had been instead for Britruptcy? Economic Bruicide?