That's right, they couldn't even do a light-hearted comedy bit without a disaster occurring. This team is officially cursed.
And yet it is a curse there seems zero will to lift around the Eden Park offices.
I'm a 34-year-old rugby fan who has lived in four of the five regions that make up our professional franchises.
More than that, as a child of the 1980s, I grew up idolising Sir John Kirwan as he went coast to coast against the Italians at Eden Park in 1987, along with his amazing eight tries against North Otago in their 1993 Ranfurly Shield challenge.
That "Sir" is well earned for his work in bringing men's mental health issues to the forefront of New Zealand society.
But the reality is Kirwan's coaching record since taking over from Pat Lam's failed regime is 15 victories from 44 games - a 34 per cent winning ratio, which is still well behind Lam and the Hurricanes' Mark Hammett (both 45 per cent), who were moved on and asked to fall on their swords respectively.
There seems little doubt that Kirwan still has the support of his players - peas-in-a-pod stuff - which begs the question of how many of them would feel comfortable about their own job security if the boss got the pink slip?
No question Kirwan is a people person, affable and approachable, but these are professional players that don't need mollycoddling but instead a concrete plan to work hard and find another gear above their current speeds - because right now their best isn't good enough.
"You don't make friends with the foremast jacks, lad. It's discipline they want," said captain Jack Aubrey to one of his junior officers in Master and Commander.
Kirwan is also running through a rapidly shrinking list of subordinates himself.
All Black legend Tana Umaga, reliable Tasman mentor Kieran Keane and in the last seven days a rather embarrassed Crusaders deputy Tabai Matson have all turned down an obvious chance at career advancement to stay well away from the Blues assistant coach role, perhaps seeing a poisoned chalice for what it is.
Getting Matson was evidently a big part of Kirwan's employment pitch to the Blues board of directors - the public refusal and Crusaders boss Hamish Riach's fury at the "intolerable" timing of the approach do nothing to ease the pressure on the 63-test veteran
And yet there is no clear discussion of opening up the position for other applications, at least to get an idea of who is in the market, whom Kirwan could still pitch himself against.
If his CV is still as impressive as it looked three years ago, why wouldn't it stand up to scrutiny?
Five of the seven Blues board members are successful businessmen.
Surely, they would use profit/loss ratios to make a considered decision about who they want at the top of the playing wing of their organisation, rather than suffer another year of heartache so they don't have to admit they got it wrong?
