Several well-established psychological and social dynamics explain this phenomenon.
Conformity refers to when we go along with group opinion even when it contradicts our own perception to avoid standing out.
Obedience is the act of suppressing our own judgment and deferring to authority figures.
Pluralistic ignorance refers to instances where we privately disagree with a group norm but assume others agree, so no one speaks up.
These dynamics lead to poor outcomes, undermining cooperation and social cohesion.
Fear of speaking up, social punishment and exclusion is valid. Speaking against the group risks loss of status, reputation, income and relationships.
In these situations, cognitive dissonance comes into play.
To reduce the discomfort of holding conflicting truths, it’s easier to rationalise uncomfortable truths and remain silent than to confront them.
Within New Zealand society we often hear reference to our culture of silence.
This is reference to our own version of the Emperor’s New Clothes dynamic, deference to authority, and aversion to conflict.
We tend to avoid challenging government, institutions, people in authority and mainstream norms. This “don’t rock the boat” mentality has become a deeply ingrained part of our culture.
Even within the community sector, there is dependency on government contracts and wider community support, making it risky to challenge policy or go against the norm.
Tall Poppy Syndrome, the fear of being cut down for standing out, is also a factor.
This creates a reluctance to call out systemic problems, even when they are obvious to those experiencing them or working within them.
The Abuse in Care Royal Commission of Inquiry findings made public in July 2024 have shown how these dynamics played out.
People knew abuse was happening in institutions, but silence prevailed.
Survivors were disbelieved, ignored or discredited because admitting the truth meant challenging accepted social norms.
Professionals within the system saw red flags but stayed silent due to a belief that no one would listen to their concerns, fearing consequences and institutional backlash.
Many reported they did what they could to protect those they could, as best they could.
At the time, institutions were deemed by society to be safe despite widespread evidence of harm.
They have since been publicly acknowledged to have been deeply harmful.
Society got it wrong. Society is now paying the price.
Many survivors remain traumatised.
Through lack of understanding or fear of being accused of harm, some keep their distance, leaving those most in need more isolated and contributing to distrust.
Abuse in Care disrupted the very foundations of safety, trust and belonging that we need to rebuild healthy relationships.
Lacking adequate support and pathways to opportunity, survivors have been more vulnerable to poverty, mental health struggles, and unstable housing.
This is not a personal failure, but a direct consequence of systemic neglect and harm.
Many who experienced abuse left state or institutional care without family support, education or secure housing, and carried the impacts of trauma, stigma, and disconnection into adulthood.
It is no surprise that homelessness, systemic neglect and harm are deeply connected.
Our mainstream narrative of choice and personal responsibility continues to emphasise individual failings.
Yet frontline workers and those with experience maintain systemic failures are the real drivers.
There are policy blind spots. Emergency housing policy framing people as contributing to their own outcomes shifts blame back on to individuals.
Yet available and affordable safe housing and meaningful support remain out of reach for many.
This blame perpetuates stereotypes, creating misunderstanding, division and ultimately more harm.
Crime and antisocial behaviour are blamed on individual moral failure, while poverty, lack of opportunity, and intergenerational trauma are overlooked.
Poverty framed as laziness or poor budgeting ignores low wages, rising cost of living, and inequitable distribution of wealth.
Painting beneficiaries as dependent or undeserving sustains myths that justify underfunded systems and structural injustice.
Homelessness is not a lifestyle choice – that is the naked truth. Our mainstream beliefs don’t match the harsh realities on the ground.
When we speak up about social issues, it’s not to “rock the boat”.
Speaking out rarely benefits anyone personally, often the opposite.
Any gains are collective. Unlike the child in Andersen’s tale, we have an awareness that it carries risks.
As a community, as a society, when we see patterns in people speaking out, we need to listen. We need to learn from our mistakes.
On the back of the Abuse in Care inquiry, there is a shift happening, creating more safety and space for people to speak and listen authentically.
Survivor voices are amplifying lived experience, creating safer spaces for people to question dominant narratives and challenge collective denial without fear.
Systemic failures belong to both government and wider society because the two are inseparable.
Both influence each other and shape the structures that determine belief systems, opportunities and outcomes.
Redress is not just reparation, but repair. Responsibility falls not only on government, but on us all.
Real people are still experiencing real suffering right now. We cannot unsee or ignore that.
Social issues contribute to increasing cost of living and rising mental health issues.
We must unite and consider all perspectives for meaningful change.
Failure to do so is carried not only in human suffering, but in the increasing social and financial burden to us all.
We all deserve the opportunity to belong and thrive in safe, healthy, connected communities.
Shelley Loader is the manager of Community House Whanganui.
