Kevin Page: Bank of Mum and Dad grapples with needs of four-legged member of the family

The needs of the family dog are putting pressure on the Pages' budget. Photo / 123rf

OPINION

The cost of living crisis has forced a bit of a rethink of the budget at our humble family home.

And while a lot of what's going on at the moment can be laid squarely at the feet of those making the decisions in the Big Bad World outside my four walls, within those confines there's one family member to blame: George The Dog.

Now before I go off prattling about what this and that costs etc, I'd just like to make it clear I fully acknowledge there are people out doing it tough on a day-to-day basis.

I certainly wouldn't want to be starting off in grown-up life at present trying to save for a house or feeding a family of five – or both – that's for sure.

Fortunately, we are near the end of our working life and while we've had our moments doing it tough (who hasn't?), we're okay at the moment.

Anyway, the other day the four-legged member of the family had a haircut. He's a shaggy breed so we knew it wouldn't be an insignificant cost, but we didn't expect it to be as much as it was.

I've decided not to reveal the exact amount because that may be a bit unfair to the small grooming business simply doing its best to make ends meet.

Let's just say Mrs P could have had a fine old time at Briscoes for the same amount, with 60 per cent off of course, and I could have bought six pretty decent golf balls to lose in the creek when I play this week. As you do.

So, I've returned to the house with the newly shorn George and Mrs P is already ambling towards the sign that says "Warpath this way".

The wonders of modern technology have enabled her to check our bank account on her mobile, literally the second I paid it, and in the time it's taken for me to drive George home (roughly 10 minutes) she's gone back through our accounts and worked out how much he is costing us.

Now this is important dear reader, because we are – or at least we were – planning to spend a bit more money on our pampered pooch.

Those of you with family members of the canine variety will know this is one of those things you just do.

Your dog is a 10-to-15-year commitment, part of your family and, as such, deserves to be treated accordingly.

In our house George has become the latest recipient of funding from the Bank of Mum and Dad. All the kids got their share for many years, but just as they had set sail in their own lives and the bank looked like getting back on its feet again, George turned 70 – in dog years.

And just like those of us who hit that magic milestone in human years there are some medications that need taking to help with a bit of arthritis. A new, softer bed is also required.

George has until recently been fairly happy with his bed and the associated blankets and fluffy warm things that make up what looks to me like a perfectly good place to spend the night.

But lately he's been clambering up onto our bed in the middle of the night and is still there, snoring happily away, when we get up.

We have come to the conclusion a new, plush, warm bed would be of benefit to his ageing frame and get him off our bed where he basically takes over and pushes me sideways.

If I can just explain, for medical reasons Mrs P needs a bed slightly raised at the head whereas I like my sleeping position totally flat. We've got round the conundrum by buying two single electric beds, which we push together and cover with one duvet.

What it does mean, however, is that when Mrs P's side is elevated and mine is flat, there's a bit of a "wall" in the middle of our combined bed, right where the gap is. And it's into that gap, up against the wall, where George has been pushing me lately.

A good night's sleep has been something of a rarity while this has been going on and, of late, I've been sleeping in some odd positions to the point where I've woken with a stiff neck or sore shoulders and hips.

I'm hoping once we get George his new bed he'll sleep there content and things will be back to normal.

Or at least that's what I was hoping.

As I say my personal Minister of Finance has had a look at the budget and decided we can't afford George's new bed just yet. All of which means I will be sleeping awkwardly in the gap between the two beds and waking stiff and sore a bit longer.

I'm now left wondering how long this is going to take for the finances to come right and whether a couple of physio appointments for me might actually work out more expensive than buying a new bed for a pampered pooch?

Mind you, we already have a dog bed with associated blankets and fluffy warm things going to waste and, as mentioned previously, it has also looked to me like a perfectly good place to spend the night.