Waikato Herald
  • Waikato Herald home
  • Latest news
  • Sport
  • Business
  • Rural
  • Lifestyle
  • Lotto results

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • On The Up
  • Sport
  • Business
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
  • Lifestyle
  • Lotto results

Locations

  • Hamilton
  • Coromandel & Hauraki
  • Matamata & Piako
  • Cambridge
  • Te Awamutu
  • Tokoroa & South Waikato
  • Taupō & Tūrangi

Weather

  • Thames
  • Hamilton
  • Tokoroa
  • Taumarunui
  • Taupō

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Waikato News

Local Focus: How Maddy stopped self-harming

Hunter Calder
By Hunter Calder
Videojournalist Waikato, NZH Local Focus·NZ Herald·
1 Aug, 2017 07:41 PM5 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Maddy is speaking out about mental health. Made with funding from NZ on Air.
Break the Silence

Warning: This article is about self-harm and may be distressing for some readers.

Mental illness is a subject many teenagers keep quiet about.

But for Maddy, who didn't want to use her last name, mental health is a subject she's all too familiar with and she's urging others to seek help.

"It needs to be talked about in schools, and people need to know about it. And kids need to know that what they're saying and doing isn't okay, and that it's affecting other people negatively," Maddy says.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

WATCH

• Local Focus: It's not about wanting to die

READ MORE

• Rainbow suicide rate five times higher

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

• Read the full Break the Silence series here

• Investigation: The untold story of teen suicide in the North

The teenager is slowly coming to terms with her own journey, which started at the age of 12 when she was self-harming and depressed.

"It just really wasn't fair," she says. "And it took me a long time to realise that it wasn't me that was at fault. It was people that were being horrible and saying horrible things."

But Maddy's own reactions to the bullies was affecting others, particularly her mother Frankie.

"For her to be doing that to me was like, you know a punch in the guts because I felt like I'd failed her," Frankie says. "I just couldn't believe she had done it. I was horrified it was terrible. She just really downplayed, like 'it's nothing, it's nothing', but it was."

Maddy says her mum first saw her cuts one afternoon when she was being picked up after school.

"She lost her shit. Fair enough I guess, and then I just knew I had to stop. I stopped because Mum was extremely upset, she was crying, she was angry not just like when she found out, but constantly, all the time. I didn't stop because I didn't want to stop, I stopped because if I didn't, things were just ten thousand times worse."

Frankie says it was hard knowing that her daughter was self-harming, but a relief when she stopped cutting.

"I knew she was doing it for me but in a way, I felt that she cared about me enough that she didn't want to keep doing something that upset me that much."

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

It was a year later, in Maddy's final year at intermediate school when she faced fresh mental health challenges, again from peers at school, and this time some of her closest friends.

Maddy says she had only just come to terms with her own sexuality when she decided to tell her best friend.

"At the time I was really figuring out my sexuality and then I kind of did the coming out thing, which just backfired completely. I got a lot of shit from that. He said 'Aww you're such homo' and I was like 'Well actually yeah'. And then he told everyone else and then I didn't know who knew and who didn't."

A change of school brought a new social circle, and over the years Maddy's learned to cope, with close support from Mum.

"I didn't want to go to a doctor or a psychologist and open up and talk and share about what I was feeling and going through, just for them to say 'well you're being dramatic' and just completely invalidate anything I was feeling," Maddy says.

Maddy recently made the decision to leave college and is now home-schooling herself.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

She's also a regular face at Waikato Queer Youth - a volunteer organisation supporting young gays.

Waikato Queer Youth Senior Youth Mentor, Logan Cotter says sexuality discrimination is still common.

"NZ is a very inclusive society and we are very progressive but it's still sitting there, like certain comments that are made, like kids will say 'oh that's gay'. Yes it sounds like a non-issue but it can really play on people's minds because it's associated with a negative thing," Mr Cotter says.

And finally, four years on from when the depression started, Maddy is seeking professional help. But there were a few months waiting for a referral.

General Manager for Pinnacle Midlands Health, Andrew Swanson-Dobbs says they have had more than thirteen thousand appointments, but were only funded for ten thousand. "

"We've had more referrals and delivered more last year than we were funded for," he says. "So sometimes our waiting time to see us is a lot longer. So that's how we experience pressure. But we are primary mental health for mild to moderate (services) and so those (people) theoretically can wait a little bit.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"But we'd like to be quicker we'd like to be more efficient but the demand is quite large at the moment," Mr Swanson-Dobbs says.

Talking with a psychologist is helping Maddy understand herself better. But naturally, she's doing things her way as well which she says is helping.

"I write a lot," she says. "None of it's any good, but I like doing it. It's therapeutic I guess. I don't know, I'm not good talking about my feelings or my emotions or whatever so I write it in some really obscure way, and hope it makes sense to someone else."

WHERE TO GET HELP:

If you are worried about your or someone else's mental health, the best place to get help is your GP or local mental health provider. However, if you or someone else is in danger or endangering others, call 111.

If you need to talk to someone, the following free helplines operate 24/7:

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757
LIFELINE: 0800 543 354
NEED TO TALK? Call or text 1737
RAINBOW YOUTH: 09 376 4155
SAMARITANS: 0800 726 666
YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633 or text 234

There are lots of places to get support. For others, click here.

Save

    Share this article

Latest from Waikato News

Lifestyle

Watch: Smokefreerockquest and Showquest's finals around the motu

03 Jul 06:00 AM
Waikato Herald

Rangitīkei fencer regains Golden Pliers title

02 Jul 06:00 PM
Waikato Herald

Enraged 'mistress' kills innocent motorist while chasing man's wife over family photo

02 Jul 06:43 AM

There’s more to Hawai‘i than beaches and buffets – here’s how to see it differently

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Recommended for you
Watch: Smokefreerockquest and Showquest's finals around the motu
Entertainment

Watch: Smokefreerockquest and Showquest's finals around the motu

03 Jul 06:00 AM
Hearty, nourishing, inexpensive: Try this warming winter lentil and tomato broth
Viva - Food & Drink

Hearty, nourishing, inexpensive: Try this warming winter lentil and tomato broth

03 Jul 06:00 AM
'Chose to ignore the rules': Landlord fined for tenancy breaches
New Zealand

'Chose to ignore the rules': Landlord fined for tenancy breaches

03 Jul 05:57 AM
Multiple Akl motorways affected amid storm, heavy flooding in Taranaki
New Zealand

Multiple Akl motorways affected amid storm, heavy flooding in Taranaki

03 Jul 05:56 AM
The Kiwi still teaching Aussies to wave after 30 years
Entertainment

The Kiwi still teaching Aussies to wave after 30 years

03 Jul 05:31 AM

Latest from Waikato News

Watch: Smokefreerockquest and Showquest's finals around the motu

Watch: Smokefreerockquest and Showquest's finals around the motu

03 Jul 06:00 AM

The latest highlights of talented up-and-coming musicians competing around the country.

Rangitīkei fencer regains Golden Pliers title
Waikato Herald

Rangitīkei fencer regains Golden Pliers title

02 Jul 06:00 PM
Enraged 'mistress' kills innocent motorist while chasing man's wife over family photo
Waikato Herald

Enraged 'mistress' kills innocent motorist while chasing man's wife over family photo

02 Jul 06:43 AM
Popular Waikato walkway fully reopens after major upgrade
Waikato Herald

Popular Waikato walkway fully reopens after major upgrade

02 Jul 05:00 AM
From early mornings to easy living
sponsored

From early mornings to easy living

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • Waikato Herald e-edition
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • Waikato Herald
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP
search by queryly Advanced Search