What’s It Like To Be… is a fortnightly listener.co.nz column where New Zealanders from all walks of life share first-hand experiences. Today on the Cancer Society’s Daffodil Day, comedian Dai Henwood talks about his experiences.
I first had symptoms of colon cancer in 2017, bleeding on toilet paper and so forth. I saw my GP and a bowel specialist but I was sort of misdiagnosed, or undiagnosed. I was in my early 40s and didn’t fit into the ‘curve’ you need to be in to get a colonoscopy. They ruled out the need for one, but not through any malicious intent.
The symptoms got worse and peaked in 2019. I told my GP how bad it was and he pushed me through quickly for a colonoscopy. They discovered a big tumour in my bowel and went on to find out the cancer was in my liver, as well. Life then became a complete whirlwind of chemo and surgeries. I had half of my liver removed and half of my bowel removed. They did more scans and discovered cancer was also in my lungs. I had to have three lung surgeries.
So far, I’ve had 30 rounds of chemo, six major surgeries and about 50 days of radiation. I’ll be back on the chemo later this year.
My lung partially collapsed again recently. Now I’m in daily radiation to try to fix it and get my breathing back. It’s an ongoing battle and it’s been a challenging four-and-a-half years so far.
Because they’ve found cancer in so many places they’ve labelled it incurable under current Western medicine. I’m on maintenance treatment at the moment to try to keep it at bay until, fingers crossed, another option appears. China and Australia are doing amazing work on treatments at the moment, so I’m still holding on to hope.
It’s tricky though, with treatments. Every cancer is different - everyone with colon cancer has a different disease. A treatment that might be applicable to someone else is not applicable to me because each treatment targets specific mutations and your mutation could be one of thousands. A drug they’re using in Britain is having great effect but only about 5% of people with colon cancer have that mutation.
Even with all this going on, I am feeling blessed that I’m physically still in quite good shape, which has been a real godsend for my kids.
I have always been a very optimistic, hopeful person and my base level of happiness has always been quite high. One of my mottos has been that optimism won’t cure me, but pessimism will kill me, so I focus on staying positive.
I have chosen not to suffer. Sure, my treatments hurt and are very hard, but I’ve chosen to try to find the happy moments where I can and get out with friends and family when I’m feeling good. In a way, I suppose this diagnosis has really crystallised how awesome those little happy moments are. I definitely appreciate life a million times more than I did before, and I don’t sweat the small things.
I’m a very spiritual person and that helps me a lot. Getting sober from alcohol four years ago has also been important.
I’m not a sit down and hide away sort of person, so one of the hardest things about having this current lung issue is that I can’t exercise. I’ve always been very active - I’ve played cricket every season for 35 years and like to run around doing rugby training with my son. But I can still move - I’m just confined to like tai chi-type exercises. And I try to get out as much as possible.
When I look back at all the stuff I’ve been through, I’m just stoked that I’ve managed to create a few things along the way. It helps take my mind off things.
I’m still working when I can but obviously my timeframes are different. I used to plan a year in advance with the shows I wanted to do but now it’s just using very small increments of time. I have fitted my Dai Hard stand-up comedy shows in Wellington, Auckland and Christchurch around my chemo timetable. I’ve loved doing that because stand-up and comedy is such an important part of my life.
I’m still doing bits and bobs TV-wise, including filming a documentary. It will probably be the funniest thing you’ve seen about cancer! It follows my journey, and we also visited places where they’re developing treatments. I’ve just watched the final cut of it and it’s very powerful, although with lots of optimism and a lot of laughs. I hope that it’s not only entertaining but also a good resource for people.
I’m really looking forward to getting the doco out there but I’m also a bit nervous at the same time. I’m very vulnerable in the doco but I believe that it’s a positive to see men in more vulnerable states. And I think a lot of men on TV, especially, could show a bit more vulnerability.
I’ve also written a book. The feedback I’ve had from cancer patients and people dealing with different types of chronic diseases and issues is that it has helped them a lot. I’m super-proud that I have managed to crystallise where I am and distil my journey into something that can help people.
To donate to the Cancer Society, go to daffodilday.org.nz
The Life of Dai by Dai Henwood, is published by HarperCollins ($39.99). The three-part documentary Live and Let Dai will begin airing on ThreeNow and Three in late September.
