Online exclusive
What’s It Like To Be is a regular online column in which New Zealanders from all walks of life share first-hand experiences. Here, Paulette Crowley hears from dad-of-three Jarrod Lill who noticed a pain in his groin from a small, pea-sized lump which, by the end of a short holiday was the size of a mandarin. It was the start of a battle against melanoma, one of New Zealand’s most common cancers. He shares what it’s like to be diagnosed with melanoma and what happened next.
“I just love Australia and take my three kids there every year – it’s a great getaway and a good break for us after a really rough time. We lost my wife Kelly to breast cancer five years ago.
I’m really active, so when we were in Noosa last May, I’d get up early, head out for a 10km run, then go surfing. I was a bit lethargic but put it down to the heat, being a dad to three kids and working on some pretty big projects in my job as a builder. As the days went by, I noticed a pain in my groin from a small, pea-sized lump. By the end of the holiday, the lump was the size of a mandarin.
My GP thought it was a hernia that could constrict my blood flow. He was very, very concerned, and put me straight into hospital. By chance, a consultant surgeon saw me and she didn’t think the lump was a hernia. They did a biopsy, gave me antibiotics for an infection and sent me home to wait for the test results.
I was back at work and feeling better when the surgeon rang me from overseas while she was on holiday. “I don’t normally ring people but I needed to talk to you straight away with some very serious news,” she said. That’s when she told me I had cancer – melanoma – with five tumours deep inside my groin and body. I needed treatment straight away.
It would have been easy to collapse at that point, but I knew I had to keep positive. I was pretty determined that my story wasn’t going to be what happened to my wife. I couldn’t afford that outcome and neither could my kids.
You have to wait a couple of weeks for scan results so everyone can work out a treatment plan. Those weeks were probably the toughest of my life but there was really great news at the end – the cancer hadn’t spread beyond my lymph nodes.
The doctors said if I didn’t do anything, I wouldn’t see Christmas that year. That’s when everything moved pretty quickly. In the space of four weeks, I’d gone from not knowing I was sick, to having a full-on treatment plan with scans, surgery and medicine.
They started me on Keytruda straight away. It’s an immunotherapy treatment that teaches your body how to kill the cancer cells. It’s expensive – about $10,000 a cycle – and I wasn’t eligible for publicly funded cycles. All up, my treatment cost about $125,000. I was very lucky that I had an insurance policy with trauma cover, which pretty much paid for it.
The support we got from my family, friends and work was amazing. They dropped off kids, cooked meals, the lot. My boss had me on full pay for four months.
I stayed really positive throughout the treatment. Every morning, I’d get my kids out the door, take the dog for a 10km walk and keep myself busy with washing and cleaning. Every day I had some sort of appointment. I had a great experience with the people in the health system – they get a bad rap, which isn’t fair.
It was a difficult time though – cancer is brutal. It was really hard on the kids after losing their mum when they were only 4, 8 and 10 years old. I had to be honest though and told them I had melanoma, but I was having treatment and would probably be okay. I didn’t want to load them up with the mechanics of the treatment because it wasn’t their battle to take on board. Kids worry, right?
Six weeks after surgery and two cycles of Keytruda, the doctors were confident that they’d got all the cancer but a full course is 12 months, so I’ll take Keytruda until May – as prescribed – to do all I can to ensure it doesn’t come back. The doctor says I’m pretty much 90% cured, which is rare. I never once doubted the treatment would work but in hindsight, it was not a good prognosis. I’m very lucky to be here.
I’ve just spent the summer with the kids, now aged 15, 13 and 9, at our little old-school crib (bach) near Taupō. We spent a lot of time out on the boat using the sea biscuit I bought them for Christmas. We’ve been kayaking up the river and swimming. I’m a very hands-on dad these days and I know everything about their lives. When I was a younger dad I was wrapped up in my working world but now understand family is the most important thing in my life.
Melanoma is a skin cancer caused by the sun but I’m one of 5% of people where they couldn’t identify the primary source. I’m 52 now and was a Kiwi kid who grew up in the sun – we were lucky if we had Coppertone SPF2 back then. I’ve also worked outside as a builder for 20 years. I’m vigilant about following the recommended sun-safe advice but I’m also raising three very sporty kids who love the outdoors, so I always join in.
I haven’t asked if I should do anything different and haven’t been told to, so I’ve just gotta keep living in the day and enjoying it all.”
Facts about melanoma (from Melanoma NZ)
- New Zealand has the highest rate of melanoma in the world.
- More than 7000 melanomas are diagnosed in New Zealand every year.
- Almost 300 Kiwis die of melanoma every year.
- Around 70% of melanoma cases occur in people aged 50 years and older.
- Darker-skinned people may have a lower chance of getting melanoma, but they often have thicker, more serious melanomas.
- Melanoma rarely occurs in children.
- Men are twice as likely than women to die from melanoma.
