Te Ururoa Flavell holding his first grandchild, born during the weekend.
Greetings. I have recently attended three tangi, and around the same time, hosted an All Party Parliamentary Group supporting palliative and end-of-life care.
What is the link? I suppose you could say it is about the journey to death.
I reckon that we do not really properly prepare ourselves for death. Let me explain. If we look at this concept of palliative care, I think it is often unknown to many Maori and yet there are some real benefits, which I have seen for myself when a friend of mine was suffering. You have the doctors, the nurses, and your own space, everything at your disposal to ease the pain. The objective is to really look after those who are really suffering from terminal sickness.
This sort of care is not just for the elderly but for young ones as well, for example young ones who are cancer sufferers. From what I know of the Maori world, we do not necessarily take up this opportunity, preferring to look after our own at home. What happens of course is that it can put some stress on the family.
Yet, there is a heap of support from this sort of care and these places which eases the burden on families. All I ask of you is that you give this some thought.
Secondly, I think that we do not prepare very well for tangihanga until such time as you have to deal with it. Shall we take the body to the marae, to the house, who shall we contact about the marae, what shall we do when we arrive, who will pay the bills, do our partner and children know our wishes, who will cook the food, the protocols of the marae etc etc. Some people may believe that it will all simply come together.
The thing is that circumstances are worse if someone dies overseas. This year alone, I have had three close relatives returned from Australia and it can take five days or more before they are brought home, then there is three days on the marae, so the process of tangihanga takes much longer.
I have recently learned of a publication that Grey Power have put out called, Preparing For Death which is a small handbook to assist families with exactly that. There are benefits in such a booklet, but equally, talking among our families is important since they end up making the final decisions. This is what each individual family must do.
To a contrasting situation now, I made a bit of a stuff-up recently - it seemed to be the main story in and around Parliament. I suppose one could say making a mistake is a trait of our ancestors. If you put together the two words "he tika" (he meaning wrong and tika meaning right) then it means it has become "correct" - that is what happened to me this week.
No matter how big a blunder, one cannot blunt the happy feelings that come with the birth of a new baby. So, this is a greeting from grand-dad Te Ururoa to my new mokopuna I hope to be holding while you are reading this article!
I welcome your feedback - email mpwaiariki@parliament.govt.nz or phone (0508) 924274.
Te Ururoa Flavell is Maori Party co-leader and Waiariki MP.
Maori translation:
I nga ra tata kua hipa atu nei, e toru nga tangihanga kua tae atu au. I tae atu ano hoki au ki tetahi hui mo te hunga tautoko i te kaupapa nei, ara ko te "Palliative care". He aha te hononga o nga take e rua nei? Ko te whakawhitinga ki a Hine nui te po tera! Ko toku whakapae kaore tatou i te kaha whakatika mo te mate. Taihoa ake nei, maku tera korero e whakawhanui. Mena ka titiro tatou ki tenei mea ki te "Palliative care" kaore a Ngai Taua i te whai atu i tenei kaupapa, nate kore marama mo te take nei engari ara ano ona painga. E kite au i tera i te wa i tiakina tetahi tino hoa aku. Ara nga rata, nga neehi, tou ake wahi, nga mea katoa hei whakamama i nga mamaetanga. Ko ta tenei kaupapa, he kaha tiaki i te hunga e kaha ngaua nei e te kaha mauiui. Ehara i te mea ma te hunga koeke anake tenei momo tiaki, engari ko te hunga taiohi penei i te hunga e patua ana a te mate pukapuka. Ki taku mohio, ko ta te ao Maori, he tiaki i o tatou ake whanau i te kainga. Ka ahua kawa tonu tatou ki te whakaaro ki te tuku i o tatou hunga mauiui ki etahi momo hohipera. Na to tatou tiaki i o tatou hunga mauiui, ka tau nga taumahatanga ki runga i te whanau . Engari ara ano nga ringa awhina i nga momo hohipera kia mahea ake i aua taumahatanga. Heoi ano, me whakaaro ake tatou mo tenei huarahi.
Tuarua, ki taku mohio, kaore o tatou whanau i te whakaaro ake mo te matenga o tetahi tae ra ano ki te wa ka eke a mate ki mua tonu i te aroaro. Ae ranei, kaore ranei, me heri te tupapaku ki te marae, ki te whare, me whakapa atu ki a wai mo te marae, ka ahatia a te taenga atu, kia toru, wha, rima ra, ma wai nga nama e utu, kei te mohio ranei te whanau mo nga hiahia o taaua tupapaku, ma wai nga kai e tunu, nga tikanga o te marae ... ara noa atu ara noa atu. He pohehe no etahi pea, ma te hunga mate, te hunga mate e whakatika.
Ka kino ake tenei ahuatanga a te wa ka mate tetahi i tawahi. I tenei tau tonu, e toru oku ake mate i hoki mai i Ahitereiria, a, e rima pea nga ra mo te hikoi ki Aotearoa tonu, e toru ra i te marae, ka roa rawa te wa tetahi mate e tangihia ana!
Ki taku mohio, kua oti i a Grey Power te tuhi i tetahi pukapuka ko "Preparing for Death" - hei awhina i nga whanau ki te pera. He painga ano o tenei momo pukapuka, engari, he pai ke ake ko tenei mea, ko te korero ki te whanau. Ma ia whanau ia e whakatika.
Aue, ka hee katahi ka tino hee rawa atu!! Koia te korero i tenei wiki. I hee rawa atu ta matou tuku pooti i te whare paremata! Heio ano no o tatou tupuna tera ahuatanga ara, a hee raua ko tika. Kia hono atu nga kupu nei kua "he tika"!! I pera au i tenei wiki.
Ahakoa pehea te nui o te hee, e kore e taea e tetahi mea te karo i te harikoa i te putanga mai o tetahi pepi ki tenei ao. Koia nei te mihi o te ngakau o Koro Te Ururoa. Ko te tumanako, I a koutou e panui ana I tenei korero, kei a au a matou mokopuna kei taku poho!