Tauranga father finds out at age 48 he was adopted

Tauranga father Ian Manson found out he was adopted at age 48. Now in his 70s, Manson and his family have uncovered a new side to their family tree with ancestors across the Bay of Plenty region, including Rotorua. He tells his story of meeting his biological mother for the first time and discovering his Māori heritage.

Ian Manson’s adoption was kept a “secret” for decades.

The 78-year-old grew up as an only child near Wellington and his adoptive parents “never” told him.

Ian was 48 when he found out.

His wife, Leigh Manson, was at a friend’s house where a mutual connection “let slip”.

“I was stunned and she was horrified,” Leigh told the Bay of Plenty Times.

“She felt horrible for years. And I kept telling her, ‘That’s the best thing you could’ve done because Ian needed to know’.”

Ian will appear today in the second episode of the second season of the documentary series An Adoption Story.

The series is an independent project created, produced and edited by fellow adoptee Alex Gilbert, who runs a New Zealand and worldwide support network for adoptees. The first season of the documentary series, released on YouTube last year, featured the stories of 12 different adopted people and had more than 200,000 views.

Television professionals Hamish Dodd and Bridgid Davis also helped with the production of Ian’s story, Gilbert said.

‘They kept that a secret’

Ian understood he was born in Waihi and adopted at 4-and-a-half months.

His adoptive parents treated him well but never told him he was adopted.

“They kept that a secret.”

Leigh Manson, Ian Manson's wife, found out her husband was adopted from a mutual connection. Photo / Alex Gilbert, I'm Adopted

Ian and Leigh met in Wellington in 1966 where Leigh was studying to be a pharmacist and Ian was a mechanic.

Leigh - from Te Puke - moved to Tauranga to be closer to her family and for work in 1967. Ian followed.

They got married in 1969 and had two children - Yolande and Gary.

In 1986, Leigh was at a friend’s house and they were talking about their children’s health.

Her friend’s mother was Ian’s adoptive mother’s neighbour.

“She just said, ‘Well it can’t be hereditary because Ian’s adopted.”

‘You didn’t fit into my plans’

Leigh said she had to keep it a secret while Ian’s adoptive father was alive and able to tell him.

“I was trying to convince him that it was his place to tell him ... "

His adoptive mother died before Ian found out. His adoptive father died the same year Ian found out, but Ian chose not to tell his adoptive father due to him being sick.

In 1994, Leigh told Ian she had something “serious” to tell him and put some tissues on the table.

She said Ian said, “What are you going to tell me, that I’m adopted or something?”

“And I went, ‘Yes, did you know?’”

Ian said guessing he was adopted “just popped out” and finding out was “a bit of a shock”.

His biological father had died but he tracked down his biological mother. They spoke on the phone and got on “quite well”.

His mother told him he had iwi affiliations to Te Arawa.

Ian and Leigh met her in Blenheim. Ian found out he had a biological brother and asked her why she gave them up.

“She said, ‘You didn’t fit into my plans’.”

Leigh told her they did not hold it against her.

Tauranga man Ian Manson has found several family members after finding out when he was 48 that he was adopted. Photo / Alex Gilbert, I'm Adopted

After their meeting, contact was “reduced to letter writing”, Ian said.

“I don’t think she wanted to face the reality.”

Ian said she died 22 years ago.

Ian said he spent about two weeks at the library, “obsessed” with finding out information about his family.

He discovered he had four half-sisters and one half-brother.

“I seem to have been accepted into the family quite well. They were quite pleased to see me.

“It’s just nice to know that there are other people out there in the family that I’m related to.”

‘A mystery to solve’

Ian and Leigh’s daughter Yolande Manson researched their family tree extensively, including at the library and the Land Court in Rotorua.

“I wanted to know who I was ... It was like a mystery to solve.”

Yolande felt connected to her father’s side and was drawn to “looking deeper”.

She posted some family names on an online notice board called the Whakapapa Club.

Documentary creator Alex Gilbert and Yolande Manson. Photo / Alex Gilbert, I'm Adopted

“I got some responses back with people saying they’re related to us, sending me whakapapa charts and things in the mail.

“And then I would just bump into people who happened to know people in our whānau and tell me stuff and send me on different paths ... "

Her research revealed their marae was Awahou Marae in Rotorua.

“The more research I do, all around where we live is all where our ancestors used to live. So it’s pretty amazing, really.”

She traced their family tree back to Hawaiki - the traditional Māori place of origin.

Yolande said tracing her family tree had “validated” feelings and interests she had while growing up.

“It’s definitely opened up new avenues, new places to belong, new people to connect with, and everywhere we go we meet people we’re related to now, which never would have happened before.”

A ‘resource’ for other adoptees

Gilbert - who lives in Auckland - said his documentary series was a “resource” for other adoptees who may want to “follow someone else’s experiences”.

The 32-year-old shared his adoption story on his YouTube channel.

Adoptee Alex Gilbert has created a documentary series called An Adoption Story.

His experience led him to setting up a group to help others and creating the series.

He set up I’m Adopted in 2015 as a Facebook page. It became a registered charity in 2020 and has a Givealittle page.

Adoptees who wish to submit their story for the series can do so on Gilbert’s website.

Megan Wilson is a health and general news reporter for the Bay of Plenty Times and Rotorua Daily Post. She has been a journalist since 2021.