Samantha Motion: Another holly, jolly Bay of Plenty news parody - 2022 edition

Michael Buble performs at The Mission in Napier in 2020. Photo / Paul Taylor

OPINION

A couple of years ago, I turned the oft-voted best Christmas song ever - The Pogues’ Fairytale of New York - into a parody review of the year’s news highlights in the Bay of Plenty.

Many readers loved it. While others probably had different views, they unwisely did not email me, so I am undeterred and back at it again, earnestly butchering another of my favourite holiday tunes to mark the end of 2022.

This time I have selected the not-nearly-as-good-as-Fairytale but still sweet seasonal classic It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas as the backing track for my lyrical parody.

Unlike my first effort, I can’t claim I saw any thematic similarities in the events of this trying year and the syrupy lyrics of this song, written in 1952 and covered by Christmas crooner Michael Buble more recently.

But as I sat down to write this, the terrible December weather finally seemed to be beginning to clear (touch wood) and this song seemed apt. It’s also fairly cheery and couldn’t we all do with a bit more of that right now?

It’s beginning to look like a Bay of Plenty Christmas

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Everywhere you go

At last see the bluish skies, no more thunderstorm surprise

Bringing flash flooding and making the streets flow

Flooding on Lake Rd caused by Tuesday afternoon thunderstorms. Photo / Laura Smith

It’s been another strange year since last Christmas

For our Bay of Plenty kin

The cruise ships have returned, and tourism’s less concerned

But is there room at the Rotorua inns?

A new mayor or two, many councillors too

Except in Tauranga

Bridges ducked out, Uffindell’s future was in doubt

The next poll’s not too far

And then we’ll really get to see how forgiving the voters are

Tauranga MP Sam Uffindell. Photo / Andrew Warner

Oh, it’s been a horrible slog towards Christmas

And the end of twenty-two

With Covid surging again, and burglars breaking in

Labour’s prospects swirling down the loo

Adrian Orr wants Kiwis to have a thrifty Christmas

Save a buck is his plea

Inflation’s not been tamed, interest rates have gained

Recession’s coming in twenty-twenty-three

Reserve Bank Governor Adrian Orr. Photo / Mark Mitchell

Hope your whānau is getting together this Christmas

To enjoy another pour

Whether you’re off to Hawaii (hear it’s much like Te Puke)

Or behind your own front door

Sure, it’s Christmas once more.