I know lots of people who make racist remarks. Some are my friends. They think they're funny at times, feel important and clever when they put someone down whose culture and background differs from theirs. Sometimes I comment and make them aware of what they've just said "do you want to repeat that" I ask. For a moment they look quite perplexed and consider what they said. But the moment is fleeting and because they don't, or can't, see anything wrong with the view they have just expressed they carry on.
These are people of my own age. But I don't let their comments upset me. What's the use? Older people are not going to change their views and I don't have the time nor the inclination to explain why their comments can be construed as racist. And my friendships have more going for them, and are not defined by comments made from time to time out of ignorance. Being older you get more tolerant of those who know no better. This is in stark contrast to young New Zealanders who have developed a sure sense of who they are. They see no need to feel better about themselves by putting others down.
In New Zealand we get very touchy about calling people racists. It's as if we must refrain from using the word or deny any such allegation at all costs. This makes us feel better because we couldn't possibly be a country that condones racism, bigotry and prejudice. With our colonial past we are a dead ringer for all three. Have been and continues to this day in some quarters of New Zealand society.
I did smile when I saw friends of Sir Peter Leitch rallying to defend what he said, and might have meant, when he recently had a brief chat to Lara Bridger at a cafe on Waiheke Island. Friends who have known him for years, know he doesn't have a racist bone in his body. Have never heard him utter anything that comes close to being a racial slur. They would probably be right.
When your friends have the same mindset they probably don't notice anything amiss. The same mindset is not to be confused with the same background and upbringing. You meet people from similar upbringings yet their thinking on many issues differs greatly. What they have experienced in life and work; travelled and been exposed to different cultures, friends from other countries and backgrounds, all influence how they see the world. And those within it. These experiences can serve to expand the mind and help give a greater awareness and understanding of humanity.
There are those who have had the opportunity to study and learn New Zealand's colonial history and the history of other countries. Some will have studied why racism was widely promoted and practised here in New Zealand as in some other countries. Why it still hangs around to this day. And who benefits. Heavy stuff that most people shy away from. But that doesn't stop them uttering nonsense when it comes to commenting on Lara Bridger's intention when she used social media to make her thoughts known about her conversation with Sir Peter Leitch.
