Opinion: Guy Fawkes and the fun police

Public fireworks displays are the way to go. Photo / File

The fun police have had a great time of it lately.

First they took away the Mount New Year's Eve party, then they took away the midnight fireworks display for Rotorua's Glo Festival, and now they want to ban the sale of fireworks to the public.

Well, let's be honest, they've always wanted to ban the sale of fireworks.

It's a perennial debate. One side enjoys spending hard-earned money on the booms and the sparkles, the other fighting to keep babies asleep, their pets calm and under control and fingers attached to their hands.

But who is Guy Fawkes and why do we, all the way down in New Zealand, want to commemorate his terrorist plot?

He was a devout Catholic who planned to assassinate King James I and restore a Catholic monarch to the throne – the man was a traitor and an attempted murderer.

One could say the fun police caught him in the act and he was killed before he could be handed the nasty punishment of being hanged, drawn and quartered.

So we're celebrating the fact that an event, supposed to have happened more than 400 years ago, never happened.

The concept, in my opinion, is outdated.

So why do we spend money of fireworks every year?

Because we can.

That's really all it is. Our government allows it.

In this case, the fun police are correct. It's time to ban the sale of fireworks.

Why we still want to celebrate a murderous traitor is beyond my comprehension – but as a compromise, let's have free public events, do them well and let it be the end of it.

It's not like it's just one night either. The chaos goes on for weeks afterwards.

Ban it for the sake of police, fire service and St John.

Ban it for the sake of parents trying to get their babies off to sleep.

Ban it for the sake of animal owners everywhere trying to coax cowering, whimpering dogs and cats from under the bed.

As a one-time fun police officer, I say get rid of Guy Fawkes.