Christians, like all groupings of people, vary in composition.
Even they have the good, the bad and the ugly among them. Some of the best I know and respect never go to church. They are not boastful or judgmental but merely "walk the talk" and demonstrate every day what they believe to be a Christian way of life.
When I stood for Parliament as a Christian Heritage candidate in 2002 I didn't come across people like them very often in the party's leadership roles. Quite the contrary.
Win at all costs was the focus. They believed that God would back their plan to enter Parliament as this country's courageous, righteous leaders. And the party very nearly reached the 5 per cent party vote threshold in 1996.
But when they didn't get up in the 2002 election the party went into decline.
I don't think they exist any more, at least not as the Christian Heritage Party. I joined the party because I do believe in family values and the teachings of the church. Nothing has changed on that score. But of course no political party has the monopoly on family values and right living.
There are good people, who believe, in all political parties.
The long-time leader of the Christian Heritage Party, Graham Capill, constantly lectured New Zealanders about living morally and berated those who didn't. Yet he was convicted of sex crimes against young girls, including rape, and sent to prison in 2005.
Which just goes to show Christians come in all "shades of grey" and being super judgmental can come back to bite you on the bum.
So when I hear church leaders calling for MPs to vote against the Marriage Amendment Bill (same-sex marriage bill), that was successful in its first reading last week in Parliament, I can't help but think they probably typify many of the same people I encountered while campaigning.
Their insistence on looking at how others live their lives really puts me off.
It must be easier to see the sins of others than to do some self reflection. It's their smugness and arrogance that I find offensive. I can't recall how many times I was asked "what's your relationship with God" when I was campaigning.
What's it got to do with anyone? God and I talk most days. I'm sure he gets impatient with me as I have a constant stream of requests and I grumble a lot as well, but that's personal to us. But these good Christians even wanted to vet that relationship.
I can't ever see myself being "their type" of Christian. I could never hate and see same-sex couples as an abomination. They are my brothers and sisters in humanity. And humanity is complex.
We are all unique. Each with our own thoughts, desires, personalities and differences. This is how we are made. And families are a mixed bag too.
There are the loving heterosexual couples doing the best they can to raise their children in a caring and nurturing home.
There are grandparents today who, for various reasons, have to step into that role too. Sole parents are managing as best they can and we have same-sex couples loving and bringing up children as well.
Heterosexual couples can make a long-term commitment to each other and declare their love before God in a church marriage service. Some may opt for a Civil Union. Same-sex couples cannot. Now they want that opportunity and equal right too. They know heterosexual couples don't have the monopoly on caring, sharing and giving and receiving love. They believe, too, that it's wrong for them not to be allowed to marry if they want to.
Some same-sex couples do want to get married in the church. Some will choose a marriage celebrant, as already happens with many couples today.
I don't see MP Louisa Wall's same-sex marriage bill as redefining marriage.
I believe it's about equality, and ensuring that the human rights of all people are respected. And it should never be about one group insisting that their Christian beliefs must reign supreme. Surely it's not who you love, but that you have the capacity to love that's important.
This is the thinking, Christian or otherwise, I would prefer to see more of.