Merepeka Raukawa-Tait: Expressing old prejudices no joking matter

I liked Billy T James' sense of humour. It was definitely Maori. He didn't hesitate to take the "mickey" out of Maori and how they see their surroundings and he laughed at himself at the same time. He made fun of Pakeha too but I never thought this was done maliciously. It was a very Maori sense of humour that you know it when you see it. My mother couldn't stand his shows. I tried to tell her he was laughing at himself too but his humour was not funny to her. She always thought it indecent and unacceptable for Billy to get laughs at his own people's expense. How else do you get laughs? He was a comedian and entertainer for goodness sake.
And I guess that's the dilemma. Humour is not a one-size fits all people. Probably never was and never will be. I remember a little song we used to sing as children. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me." Whoever dreamt that up obviously didn't know much about human feelings. As Catholic kids we used to sing this when on the receiving end of name calling and ragging from non-catholic kids, on the way to and from our Catholic school in Feilding.
Of course we gave the Protestant kids as good as we got too (although at that time I wasn't sure what a Protestant was, but obviously we must have been better than them). On both sides it probably wasn't meant to be hurtful but I think kids today would feel rather foolish if they indulged in this type of behaviour. For all I know they may still do. But the early prejudice that was being displayed back then, because it was prejudice, would have come from hearing adults slinging off in this manner. I don't believe anyone is born with prejudices. This is learned behaviour and like everything else there are good, bad and downright ugly prejudices.
People who are seen to be different are ripe for being the butt end of jokes. They may have disabilities, speak with an accent and come from a different ethnic background or from a certain socio-economic environment. Why would they take offence? It's only harmless fun after all. Surely they can take a joke.
They may be fly away comments or tired old jokes not intentionally designed to hurt anyone. But they can. Comedians make their living this way. Taking the "mickey" out of the Irish, or some other group, seems so natural but I bet this has worn thin with those on the receiving end.
I know it may be just someone's weird or odd sense of humour. We've all met people like that. But sitting amongst us are people who don't laugh as loudly, never join in with a similar joke and who choose their words carefully. They seem to be more genuine about considering the feelings of others. They would have experienced and been exposed to words that hurt. There are now definite words that we try not to use today as these can have just the same affect as inappropriate jokes.
Because of their connotation and what we associate with them, we leave them out of our conversation as they are hurtful and can give offence to some people. These words once had their own power and were used to frighten and intimidate people.
Using them conveyed prejudice, bigotry and intolerance. They were used by the powerful against the weak. They should now be consigned to the past along with everything else that hampers New Zealand from moving forward towards a harmonious and tolerant society.