Merepeka Raukawa-Tait: Don't push your values on to others

Conservative Party leader Colin Craig and his wife Katrina arrive at the party's headquarters on election night. Photo / APN

I got the feeling I was being lectured to and I don't like it. That's why I hoped the Conservative Party wouldn't cross the line on Saturday night.

I'm sure they're all good people, including party leader Colin Craig, but just not the right people to be in government.

Because being good people is part of the problem.

They've told us they're all for families and family values. I've heard and experienced that before from the political party I was once a candidate for.

It was a Christian political party, with the focus on Christian and family values. But they turned out to be too Christian, too good and far too judgmental. I found out there was little tolerance for those who didn't share their beliefs. And they had their own idea of what the family unit should look like. In this day and age, for goodness' sake.

The ideal may have been Mum, Dad and a couple of children many moons ago but that certainly isn't the case today. As for family values, they wanted to decide what these would be, too. For everyone. Good people but narrow minded. It was the kiss of death for my central government political aspirations.

Listening to Colin Craig I would say the Conservative Party would be similar to the Christian Heritage Party. It is wrong to assume that family and Christian values are only to be found in the party that talks about them while on the hustings. Every political party has politicians who subscribe to family and Christian values. Only they don't make a big song and dance about it.

They demonstrate their beliefs by the way they conduct themselves and interact with others. They have a social conscience too.

There's something about people who talk about family values that puts many people off.

I think it's this "we're holier than you" attitude they have and preach whenever they get the opportunity that's the turn off. They know what's good for us.

New Zealanders are a diverse lot. We're basically decent people. We tend to be tolerant of others, even when we sometimes get impatient with them because they don't or won't "step up" as we might like them to. And with those less fortunate than ourselves, we don't lord it over them.

We don't point the finger and instruct them "this is what you should do". People who talk about family values do this constantly.

For them it is only their world view that interests them and counts. They want everyone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, knowing full well that many people have been kicked to the curb by poor government legislation and short-term thinking and policy making.

Given half the chance, people would prefer to be self reliant and responsible for their own welfare. But sadly there are many who don't know what they don't know.

A political party that stands for family values shouldn't be in the business of disciplining people. Talking down to them. It should be uplifting and encouraging.

It should talk about the choices people can make, with support if necessary, to transform their lives.

It could say it wants to communicate and consult with the many cultures we have in New Zealand today so it will understand it's not "a one size fits all" solution to the many problems our country is facing.

And the Conservative Party can start by keeping their hands off the Maori seats.

It will be Maori who decide when these have had their day.

That won't happen for many years to come. I can't see anyone in the Conservative Party line-up that I would trust to make informed decisions, and laws, about significant issues impacting Maori. Hopefully after Saturday's election results they'll be off the scene. Forever.
• Merepeka lives in Rotorua. She writes, speaks and broadcasts to thwart the spread of political correctness.