Internet dating makes this activity easy and quick. But that doesn't mean we should not be alert to the risks this could present. Needy people, in search of companionship or love, can be vulnerable.
The sad case reported this week of New Zealander Warriena "Rrie" Wright who fell to her death from a 14th floor high rise apartment on the Gold Coast reveals the need to be careful when looking for a relationship online.
It is reported she met Gable Tostee only a few hours before her death. They met through the internet dating site Tinder.
Such sites are proving very popular.
You extol your virtues, probably with a degree of exaggeration, hoping to pique someone's interest and they'll make contact.
On the face of it there doesn't appear to be anything wrong or harmful in the approach. But how do you know if someone is a straight up person, trustworthy and decent? Is it someone who will take the time to get to know you, and not display indecent haste? That's just it. You don't know do you?
Talking to someone online, especially when contact is first made, can never be a substitute for the real thing, face-to-face conversation. Research has shown time and again, that online we often divulge information we wouldn't normally share about ourselves so early in a friendship. Sharing online can loosen lips. Whether Facebook, blogging or through dating sites these can mask what you often pick up when talking to someone in person. Intuition is heightened in personal encounters.
It now transpires that Gable Tostee had history. He was allegedly known as a highly charged sexual predator, banned from most night clubs in Surfer's Paradise. If Rrie Wright had gone out with him a couple of times, she would probably have seen any ugly side to his character. Instead she met him the once and went back to his apartment. That proved fatal.
Women must take care not to put themselves in harm's way. Go out and have a good time by all means. Meet friends and have fun. But don't overlook the need to screen carefully anyone showing interest in you.
Don't be so desperate for company that you throw caution to the wind. Take time to find out, even ask around, about the person you think sounds "so terrific". Especially if he appears to be in a hurry. And if you smell a rat, exit immediately. Does what he say about himself on Facebook smack of arrogance and conceit? Does he come over as genuine? And where does he suggest you meet for the first time? Meeting someone online, who sounds very plausible, doesn't mean you can afford to let your guard down. Believing you know everything about him, when you only know what he's been prepared to divulge.
Women must be aware of the risks and have their eyes wide open. Sadly, as in Ms Wright's case, there will be no going back.
Merepeka lives in Rotorua. She writes, speaks and broadcasts to thwart the spread of political correctness.
