Matthew Martin: Let kids have childhood

Let kids be kids, they have plenty of time to pretend to be adults when they have grown up. Photo / File

Last week I read a Facebook post from a friend who had attended a small relative's preschool graduation ceremony.

I initially thought that holding a graduation ceremony for 4 and 5-year-olds after their time at preschool or daycare before heading off to "big" school was one of the silliest things I had heard in ages.

After much contemplation, I still think it's one of the silliest ideas I have heard in ages.

But there the little people were, complete with miniature gowns and mortarboards.

What is this compulsion to have children pretend they are adults, call it "cute" and say it's something they will remember for life? Then at the same time say that kids grow up too fast and miss the great part about being young - not having to do adult stuff.

It's as bad as kiddy fashion shows or beauty pageants.

At the risk of sounding much older than my 43 years - when I was young the only thing you graduated from was university, because it actually meant something.

What is this growing trend, coming out of the United States, that sees children graduating kindy, daycare, preschool, primary school, intermediate school and high school?

The last time I checked we were still living in New Zealand.

I say let kids grow up having fun, not pretending they are adults - they'll get plenty of time for that later in life.

Let kids be kids. It's tragic. And who is it for anyway? It seems the parents get far more excited than the children, who probably won't even remember it.

Will we now have kids graduating from potty training, or from tying their first shoelace or taking the training wheels off the bike?

"I'm sorry, your child has failed Getting Themselves Dressed 101, she cannot progress to primary school unless she spends the summer holidays bettering her skills.

"Must try harder: Little Danny's finger painting skills are terrible. Please spend time with him at home perfecting his technique.

"Jane's mud pies were shocking. The composition was all wrong, too much mud, not enough stick."

Or: "Sorry, Wiremu still can't colour between the lines and his Play-Doh spaghetti man showed little creativity".

I'm sure there will be people who read this and say: "But you don't have kids, what would you know?"

Well, I was a child once. I spent a good 12 years being a child. Many would say I still am, but I feel I'm qualified to talk about kids.

They are everywhere, most of my friends have a few of them, they seem nice. And I have two lovely little nieces.

I'm told having children changes your life, and so it should, because if it didn't then I'd be very worried about you.

If the majority of my friends carried on like they did before they had kids then they'd be unfit to have any children.

Of course there is the responsibility of looking after a near helpless human being through its first very vulnerable years on the planet, which looks quite difficult and time consuming. Then they cost you money, sleep and stress until they are old enough to load the dishwasher or mow the lawns. One day they may graduate from university.

On almost every other Facebook post with photos of children there's the obligatory "wow - they grow up so fast!" comment.

Really? Do they? I didn't notice.

Children grow up as fast or as slow as anyone else - minute by minute, day by day. Even when you are not watching. That's what they do.

If they didn't we'd all be tiny "adult" humans all about 5ft tall.

So, if you are worried about your children "growing up too fast" then don't force them into ridiculous rituals usually reserved for adults.

Let them have fun, make mistakes and do what kids do best. Just be kids.