Long-lasting love requires common beliefs, Rotorua couple say

David and Brita Swears have been married for 60 years. Photo / Laura Smith

After 60 years of marriage David and Brita Swears still know how to banter.

The Rotorua couple celebrated their anniversary yesterday and spoke to the Rotorua Daily Post to share their story.

While both individuals held their own in conversation, and did not hesitate in correcting one another or clarifying a point, their bond and closeness were obvious.

When asked how they felt about their relationship, David responded with a joke: "Well, overall it's had its ups and downs."

With a smile, he quickly added the family had been very blessed.

Married since 1961, the couple, who are both in their 80s, have five children and 10 grandchildren, many of whom they expect to see at the weekend.

Fiji-born Brita met her future husband while he was based in Suva with the Royal New Zealand Air Force.

It was not a smooth introduction.

Having attended the same Bible study group, first impressions could have been better; David thought Brita stuffy and she thought he was in love with himself.

It did not take long, however, for a story-book romance to blossom. The pair, soon many miles apart, began a courtship by correspondence.

Brita had moved to Auckland to study at the Bible College of New Zealand, and David was still stationed in Suva. Pen and paper proved an intimate way of getting to know each other.

"It was quite good actually because you write things down you don't normally chitter-chatter about," she said.

Between proposal and acceptance, 15 months had gone by.

"My wife wanted to be sure."

For Brita, it was a question of making sure it was the right decision for her.

"I had to be equally sure this wasn't a sidetrack. . . I wanted to be sure I was doing what God wanted for my life."

David and Brita married 10 days after her course ended.

Faith was a keystone of their relationship, but it came with some compromise - Brita was Brethren, David was Anglican, but when they came together they made a switch to become Baptist.

Important for a happy marriage, David believed both individuals needed to be of one mind when it came to religion.

"It makes a huge difference. That was very important to each of us."

In agreement, Brita elaborated: "It's also honouring each other and wanting the best for each other. Marriage is a partnership and you are equal partners. There needs to be that same moving in the same direction with the same values."

Beginning their journey together as husband and wife, their first home was in Cambridge. After a stint in Wainuiomata, the Swears moved to Gisborne for 14 years before shifting to Rotorua. Here they stayed in the same house since 1979.