Letters to the editor: Understanding the key to long marriage

With marriage, not holding a grudge is important, writes one reader. Photo / Getty Images

The article about the stress caused by the break-up of marriages and how it affects the two concerned people, the effect it has on businesses in particular and on the children of the marriage, (Money, July 17) is sad because much may be done to prevent it.

My mother and father were 25 years apart in age, their marriage lasted over 70 years - ended by the death of my father in 1970.

My wife and I, 15 years apart, have so far lasted 52 years.

Yes, my wife and I row, as did my parents. We yell at each other, quite often; our rows are never violent, and we make up soon after.

My father was not a violent man within his family, he never raised a hand to any of us.
In my view, this may well be the crux of the matter: row, get it off your chest, do not harbour a grudge, say what has to be said and try to respect the other's viewpoint.

Teach children to understand and to respect your feelings, talk to them.

Most men mature more slowly than women, that is why the age difference is important.

Help each other with everything, show understanding, and above all show care and understanding.

Jim Adams
Rotorua

Home should be safe

Columnist Merepeka Raukawa Tait hit the nail on the head with her column on child abuse (Opinion, July 14) and I 100 per cent agree with it.

I'd like to add one more thing: just because someone was beaten up by their father or mother when they were a child does not make it right for them to beat up their children.

Home should be a safe, loving place for any child.

If a parent can't supply that, walk away.

Gavin Muir
Springfield

Housing should not just be for profit

There are hundreds of homes advertised for vacation and short-term stays in Rotorua.

I know from the neighbourhood I live in, which is zoned residential, that many of these houses used to be long-term rentals.

It seems to me that changing these short-term rentals to long term would come close to solving the rental problem in Rotorua. And that would restore our communities and neighbourhoods rather than having a series of transients moving in throughout the year.

Is it not possible to think of the finite amount of land in Rotorua and the finite number of possible houses being something the public should have some control over, not just the private owner?

Housing should not be managed simply for profit.

Delight Gartlein
Ngongotāhā

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