Kevin Page: Underwear lady gets scant attention

Surely not a new professional dress code. Calendar fundraiser Kelly Albrecht was in it, or without it, for good reason. Photo / File

Shortly I have to partake in what is known professionally as a "performance review".

Those among us who have will probably remember such matters more as "the Friday-chat with the boss over a beer".

I'm sure you know what I mean. That bit where you suddenly find yourself right next to the Great One at the bar and he tells you what you are doing wrong. The fact you are both leaning forward on the bar, shoulder to shoulder like some ancient rugby ritual is enough to let workmates know this is an earnest discussion and they should not approach, however tanked up they are.

Next week I have to enter the world of modern management, fill out some forms, have a chat with my boss (most likely over a latte - how times have changed) and discuss various things to do with my role.

Obviously I need to show I am still a razor-sharp journalist who is inquisitive, yet totally focused on the job at hand and not easily distracted in his crusade for truth and justice.

I am confident a copy of this very column will illustrate I still have what it takes - and the processing of the Waikikamukau bowls results will thus be safe in my hands.

This is what I mean.

Earlier this week I had occasion to visit the plush new offices of the Rotorua Daily Post.

I went through the security door as my mobile phone delivered a message. So, like every good newshound, I multi-tasked and read the text as I walked.

Past the lunch room, through the advertising department, past the marble statue of the editor outside his office, past the lady in her underwear, past the vending machine, past the classified department ...

Whoa! Back up a bit there. A lady in her underwear? I stopped in the classified department. Had I just actually seen a lady in her underwear standing just off to my right?

Now I had a dilemma. Should I, like the trained journalist I am, go back and investigate what was going on or should I just accept it as normal?

This is the new Rotorua Daily Post office after all. I haven't been in here for a while. Things may have changed. Perhaps people working in their underwear is some company edict. We're a new company now too.

I breathed a small sigh of relief to myself. Luckily I had the special Superman undies on Mrs P had bought me for Christmas. If I was required to work thus I wouldn't look out of place.

But now my curiosity had got the better of me and I had to go back.

In this instance it would be fair to say there was a fine line between observant journalist and blatant pervert. So I casually glanced at the still scantily clad maiden as I strolled by.

Bugger, I thought, should have carried a piece of paper. Nobody wonders what you're doing if you're carrying a piece of paper.

Anyway. Later inquiries revealed the lady was in the office for a photo shoot as part of a news story about her charity calendar. Working in your underwear is not Rotorua Daily Post policy and the editor doesn't really have a marble statue of himself outside his office. It's bronze.

Those inquiries also revealed I still have an observant journalist's eye after coming up 35 years in the job, and I proudly boasted thus to Mrs P that evening.

"I'm not so sure about that," she said, dismissively.

"What about when we went to Paris and you took me to the Moulin Rouge. All those women performers were topless and you didn't realise until the fourth dance!"

Kevin Page has been a journalist for 34 years. He hasn't made enough money to retire after writing about serious topics for years so he's giving humour a shot instead.