Actually I'm joking. They didn't buy all that. I don't even know if Dr Libby sells key rings. Though if she doesn't, she should. It will be a great marketing tool and I'd only want 10 per cent of the take.
Hopefully it will be enough to pay for the self help book, the cookbook etc.
Anyway.
Dr Libby, the author of a book called Rushing Woman's Syndrome, rolled into town recently and a lot of the ladies went, well, a bit "gaga".
This is somewhat understandable. Dr Libby is not an unattractive person, it has to be said. In fact, it is entirely possible the term "phwoar" sometimes bandied about by us shallow males was invented for her. And Mrs P, of course.
But I digress.
So Dr Libby hits town and my girls skip along in their finery to hear how their lives can be enriched, fulfilling and healthy. According to Mrs P, who had done her homework, Dr Libby has a way of explaining things that women can relate to and she wanted to listen.
While this was taking place I was enriching my life on the couch with a shoot 'em up movie, a bag of peanuts and a beer. Until Page Taxis was ordered to go pick them up.
And that was it. That was the last moment my household consisted of the three of us.
Now there's four. Dr Libby has moved in.
Not actually, of course, but I'm sure you get the picture.
If I'm honest, it's not been too bad. I thought I'd be in for tantalising tofu and happy-clappy, get-in-touch-with-your-feelings stuff, but it's not like that at all.
And what does it matter if a bit of moolah is expended on something that ultimately makes you feel better?
Sort of like me with golf, I suppose. Bit of a stroll, nice enjoyable game and you feel great. Though last Sunday's effort does tend to shoot holes in that theory.
But anyway, once I'd managed to shake off a bit of my cynicism and started to think maybe Dr Libby might not just be in it for the dough, I read some of her stuff and deduced it makes some sense.
For example, I found this bit somewhere among the pile of material my girls had gathered.
"Start the day with 20 long slow breaths before you get out of bed or alternatively, breathe and move your diaphragm while you wait for the kettle to boil [to make your lemon and warm water of course!] or while you sit at traffic lights."
Now I'm not a medical man, but I am pretty certain it's important for your wellbeing to breathe, so right there and then I figured Dr Libby must know what she's on about.
The girls certainly think so. My attempts to take the mickey have been well and truly rebuffed.
Mrs P even reminded me I'd basically gone down the same path myself when I bought a box set of Tony Robbins motivational CDs some years ago.
In my defence, I should explain it was just four easy payments of $59.99 and the TV ad said I would become so motivated I would be running a multinational company and become a gazillionaire within 18 months, so I'm sure you can see that particular purchase made good sense.
But what happened? I hear you ask.
I sold the entire unopened box set at a garage sale for $20 about six months later.
I never could get motivated enough to listen to them.
Kevin Page has been a journalist for 34 years. He hasn't made enough money to retire after writing about serious topics for years so he's giving humour a shot instead.
