Kevin Page: Make me laugh, get my vote

It's time those vying for our votes this election cracked a joke or two. Photo / File

I'm making a plea today for a bit more stupid behaviour from those seeking a seat in our Parliament.

This is because politics has become about as exciting at the moment as a fresh coat of semi-gloss ceases to be wet, if you know what I mean.

It's also because I'm a journalist and, well, I need silly politicians to make fun of and fill some of the news space each day.

Okay, we've still got Winston coming up with a terrible joke at the expense of our Asian brethren, which we are all now tut tutting about. Let's not pretend. We've all had a giggle, however inappropriate it may have been.

And there's also a big, fat guy with a dotty name and lots of cash threatening to do something (else) outrageous, so I guess that's something.

But in the main, those seeking a position around the parliamentary water cooler in Wellington are playing it pretty safe.

And that's a shame.

Don't they realise there are votes to be had by showing a bit of larrikin?

I reckon a lot of us would be far more interested in the election if we had some candidates with a bit of the common touch.

By that I don't mean just those who say they went to a state school and had a paper round (which is what they all say) but those who, well, maybe did the full yard or shots at their 21st, streaked through the hall on the last day of term or something equally as memorable.

You know what I mean. That person we all remember with a wry little smile and a nod. That sort of character. That's what we want.

After all, we are the country where thousands of the population put down "Jedi" when the census question asked our religion not that long ago.

Hopefully, you weren't out of the galaxy that weekend and you know the Jedi are from Star Wars. That response shows there are enough of us out there who like a bit of a laugh. Maybe not take life too serious.

Obviously, in a politician it's a fine line to walk. I appreciate politics is a serious business. I understand that decisions made in Parliament affect everything we do and we should take it seriously.

And 95 per cent of the time, I want my political representative in our nation's capital to be doing just that and working hard in the job I sent him or her there to do.

But in the other 5 per cent of the time I don't mind if they chill a bit. Be real. I don't particularly mind if they crack a bad joke (as long as they recognise it as a bad joke, Winston), watch a porno (Shane Jones), walk through the wrong security door at the airport (Gerry Brownlee) or fire the old "don't you know who I am?" comment at a waiter (Aaron Gilmore - who has vanished from public life and may now actually be working as a waiter to earn a crust).

This election campaign is a perfect opportunity for candidates to go a bit crazy, kiss a baby or two; go to the opening of a paper bag; comment on anything and everything; wear stripes with checks (No, wait. Scrub that. That was Tony Ryall being normal, not outrageous).

Basically, it's an opportunity for would-be politicians to get in touch with their inner Jedi and win a bit of support.

If they are brave enough, they'll certainly get my vote. Maybe it will be a question of whether The Force is with them come September 20.