I love a good tourist.
Easter will bring an influx of such visitors and I'm sure among them will be the fun, excitable ones who will swallow anything you give them - be it a beer or an interesting "fact".
When a tourist asks for directions savour the moment. I always feel obliged to give them a little something else to go with the Maori culture, mud and steam they are going to get anyway.
How about a polite bow to the Asians? When you get a bus load doing it back it will break the ice. I've tried it a few times and they seem to get a kick out of it. Or maybe they are just laughing at the hole in my haircut. Who knows?
Likewise, the good old Kiwi visitor is always up for a laugh. Occasionally you get a real gullable one - perhaps from Waikikamukau up from the country for a citybreak. You get the picture.
Whatever inquiry you get its time to dust off the Not Many People Know That file and let the fun begin.
Here are 10 Rotorua "facts" guaranteed to leave the tourist standing before you open mouthed in amazement.
No.1 - The Bathhouse (aka Rotorua Museum) was built by ex-Shortie Streeter and Rotorua resident Temuera Morrison as his winter retreat. He was too busy making money in Hollywood films to mow the lawns so he gifted the land to the city for bowls and croquet.
No.2 - Rotorua's famous smell is a powerful aphrodisiac. That's why the city has so many hotel beds.
No. 3 - Fairy Springs is named after a long-gone mattress factory run by a same sex couple.
No.4 - Roadworks on Lake Rd are part of the plan to link Skyline Skyrides with the central city. Soon you'll be able to ride a luge all the way to the lakefront.
No.5 - Rotorua has more $2 shop-type retail outlets per head of population than anywhere else in the world. Note: This one might actually be true and therefore should be quoted sparingly to avoid having egg on your face.
No.6 - Those white puffs coming out of the ground aren't steam. Its white smoke directly through the earth from The Vatican where they've chosen a new Pope. If you see black smoke it either means no Pope has been chosen yet or it's a fire and you need to call 111.
No.7 - Two of Rotorua's favourite CBD watering holes are linked by a tunnel which keeps Reg The Publican dry when he walks between them on wet days.
No.8 - The council gives Rotorua households a lamb each year as part of a rates rebate arrangement. They are cared for at the Agrodome and handed out before a holiday weekend for a traditional roast.
No.9 - The cycleway out to Rainbow Mountain has been around for years. It was built during the Depression of the 1930s by the same guys who built the tunnel between Reg's pubs.
And finally No.10 - Rotorua people in general are a gregarious bunch who like a laugh and a roast. . . they just have to whip out and cash in the rates rebate first.