Jo Raphael: Elderly abuse is despicable, predatory and selfish

Look out for the elderly in our lives, writes Jo Raphael. Photo / Alex Cairns

OPINION:

Imagine a struggling family member reaching out to you for help.

That’s what families are for, aren’t they?

To love and support each other, to help each other out in times of need?

But that’s not always the case, as we report today.

Bay of Plenty social agencies href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/bay-of-plenty-times/news/bay-of-plenty-elderly-often-too-scared-or-embarrassed-to-report-financial-abuse-when-family-rips-them-off/S3YINXR6FNDTJNIPDX2JBTZAV4/" target="_blank">are reporting that some elderly people are being abused at the hands of the people closest to them.

They are being used as ATMs to fund family members’ drug habits, or becoming guarantors on loans and then having to take on the debt themselves when the repayments aren’t made.

Because of love and family ties, the elderly are often silent victims.

According to the Ministry for Seniors, it’s believed up to 96 per cent of cases go unreported because victims are reluctant to speak out.

Tommy Wilson, of Te Tuinga Whānau Support Services, says often the elderly want to help their children, but this could cause flow-on financial effects. Some elderly people have not been able to keep up with rent or mortgage payments.

A Tauranga budgeting expert says some older people are “too scared or embarrassed to speak up”.

And it’s not just the small potatoes these family members target.

“It can be as simple as stealing cash or withholding a person’s Eftpos card so they can’t use it. More extreme cases involve making sudden or significant changes to a will or Enduring Power of Attorney. It doesn’t occur in isolation; people experiencing financial abuse often also experience psychological abuse, physical abuse, or neglect,” Office for Seniors director Diane Turner says.

In my view, this is despicable.

Age Concern New Zealand chief executive Karen Billings says more than three-quarters of the cases it dealt with involved relatives abusing elder relatives’ trust.

These are the people who are on fixed incomes and are frequently suffering from their own ongoing health and financial issues.

Selfish, predatory family members then often add fuel to the fire by burdening their elderly relatives with more suffering.

The elderly can be seen as vulnerable targets by faceless scammers and those out to make a quick buck, who often use their generation’s trusting nature and lack of technological knowledge against them to dupe them out of money.

But to also fall victim to the lies and scams of their own loved ones doesn’t bear thinking about.

It’s time we took better care of those who took care of us.

If you have an elderly relative in your life, please reach out and make sure they’re okay.