Doris Davidson was farewelled by her family through Zoom after she died at the beginning of lockdown. Photo / Supplied
Doris Davidson was farewelled by her family through Zoom after she died at the beginning of lockdown. Photo / Supplied
It wasn't the ceremony they had expected to celebrate the life of Doris Davidson but for Jos Pemberton it was important to let her mum go, and to do it together.
While some families are opting for long-term embalming to say goodbye once they're able, Pemberton's family opted for adigital farewell via meeting app Zoom.
"We could have gone about this in two ways; one was to feel very annoyed or angry that we couldn't do the traditional things, or we could turn it into how satisfying and rewarding can we make this in these circumstances and that's what we chose to do," Pemberton told the Rotorua Daily Post.
"It was really important for us to let mum go, and to be together to do that."
Doris, pictured on her 90th birthday with her son and daughter Jos Pemberton. Photo / Supplied
In doing so, people from across Australia, New Zealand and in Canada were able to share tributes and poems after the Zoom ceremony was opened with a prayer by an Osbornes funeral director.
It was a week before lockdown when Davidson, 96, had a fall she would not recover from. On March 26 she was taken to a care hospital, but from there, no one was able to visit.
While the hospital was "fabulous" in accommodating Skype calls, Pemberton said it was traumatising.
One of Doris highlights of her 96 years was becoming a Great Great Grandmother to her grandson pictured, in 2018. Photo / Supplied
The hospital allowed Pemberton and her brother to individually say goodbye to Davidson before she was taken to be cremated. The next day the Zoom celebration of a "life well lived" began.
"Since then we have felt a sense of finality," she said.
"I feel like if we had waited and hadn't done anything I think we would still be left in this grieving state that we couldn't move past."
Osbornes Funeral director Richard Fullard said to be able to come together, whatever the circumstances, was an important part of the grieving process.
"There are many people alone in their bubbles, they feel isolated, they don't feel connected with their immediate family or community but to come together on something like Zoom and share stories and have a laugh and a cry is great."
Funeral director Richard Fullard from Osbornes Funeral Directors. Photo / File
Fullard said since lockdown began he had been working with families to help create a meaningful experience.
For the majority of families, Fullard said they had opted to have a direct burial or cremation but there were other options available.
"We do have deceased persons in our care. Long term embalming is nothing new, we do that when we are repatriating deceased persons overseas.
"So we have had families request that because they want to view the body and be with the body before the disposition and it is a nice thing we are pleased to be able to do."
When New Zealand moves into alert level 3 on April 27, funerals of no more than 10 people can go-ahead with health and safety protocols in place and Fullard said being able to come together in a physical sense was often what families needed.
"It is really important families take the opportunity to come together to support, console and to celebrate as well.
"It is one thing to be able to do it online but it is another to be able to do it in the same space and really be there for one another."
Doris Davidson pictured on her birthday in October last year. Photo / Supplied
