Every day Rahera Wild wakes up and makes a choice: does she pick up the pipe which took hold of her for 16 years, or does she stay clean for her kids?
Wild was addicted to methamphetamine for almost half her life when two years and seven months ago she had her last toke.
It took 16 years, losing her home and children and hitting rock bottom to get her to do so and now she wants to help others who have been through the same thing.
"For me it's about giving back today, being of service, being there for others that are struggling. There's a methamphetamine epidemic in New Zealand and it's killing our people.
"It's taking mothers away from their kids, fathers away from their kids, it's just the devil."
Wild's addiction stemmed from a troubled childhood, filled with violence and abuse.
"[Methamphetamine] took me to a place where I didn't have to deal with feelings. It numbed the pain," she said.
"When I first tried it, it was fun. It gave me adrenaline, fed me, made me feel good. Then it became something I didn't want any more, I needed it ... It just takes hold over you."
She said it changed who she was.
"I wasn't who I am today. I was an evil, scary, raging human being, in fact I wasn't even a human being.
"It turns you into someone you're not, it takes over, all your morals go out the window."
When her family members took away her two children, Wild was pushed to get clean.
"I knew I had a problem and there was something wrong but I didn't know how I was going to live without it," she said.
"I lost everything, my children, my home, self respect, self worth, every piece of me."
Wild went to the live-in rehabilitation centre Te Whare Oranga Ngakau and turned her life around. Now her passion is helping others to get well.
She is part of a group called the Anti-P Ministry and wants to show addicts there is a way out, and help whānau deal with addicted family members.
"My mum had to deal with my addiction for years. She felt alone, she didn't know who to turn to."
Wild's message for addicts is "there is a way out".
"It's hard, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do but there's so much help out there.
"It's a work in progress. Every day I have the choice to pick up that pipe or do something different. Today I chose to wake up and be a present mum to my children and be of service to the community I live in today."
She'll be sharing that message and other resources today from 11am until 1pm in Te Manawa.
She'll have resources about where to get help, testimonies from those who have, clinical help and help from the Anti-P Ministry available.
Wild is encouraging both addicts and family members of addicts simply to sit down and talk kanohi ki te kanohi (face to face) with someone who knows the struggle.
"People need to know it's okay to talk. If I can do it maybe it will bring others out of the woodwork. Even if I help one person I'm doing something right."
In June last year, more than 200 people attended a hui about methamphetamine at Waiteti Marae in Ngongotahā.
Rotorua councillor and People's Portfolio leader Tania Tapsell said the use of methamphetamine was a significant issue and its effects were devastating.
"From a council perspective we have an obligation to make sure all homes in our city are safe and sanitary.
"We do support a number of community health and social service providers. We give about $400,000 of community grants that help providers work with some of those affected."
About methamphetamine and getting help
- A strong addictive stimulant. Can result in enhanced energy and mood.
- A class A drug under the Misuse of Drugs Act and is illegal to use or sell.
- Withdrawal symptoms include exhaustion, hunger, anxiety, poor concentration and more.
- To get help call 0800 METH HELP (0800 6384 4357) for advice on meth-related issues including support for family and friends of users, and users. Manned Monday to Friday
- Or for 24/7 support call the Alcohol and Drug Helpline on 0800 787 797