It's a sobering statistic that one in three New Zealand women will experience psychological or physical abuse from their partner in their lifetime, as the Women's Refuge tells us today.
Having been a court reporter in Rotorua, that doesn't come as a surprise. As it won't to many teachers, communityworkers, medical staff, people working in criminal justice, or just normal residents.
Sit in a courtroom for a day and you'll repeatedly hear the charges "male assaults female" or "breach of protection order". At first it's a shock but after sitting there day after day you can almost become a bit blase. It's only when you hear a lawyer or judge dispassionately reciting what a man has done to his partner or ex-partner that the horror hits home.
There are men in our community who feel it's okay to beat their pregnant partners, drag women by the hair, kick them while they're on the ground. Often with children standing by or desperately trying to step in and stop the violence.
It's something that happens across all sectors of society, all ages, all ethnicities, all socio-economic groups. With one in three affected, it would be naive for any of us to think it couldn't affect us or someone we know.
Only with buy-in from the whole community will change be possible. While women also carry out domestic violence, the majority is committed by men.
So it will need men, the thousands of them out there who are good and non-violent and love their families, to stand up and condemn the violence.
As part of the White Ribbon Campaign, men are being encouraged to Take the Pledge. That pledge is, "I promise never to commit, condone or remain silent about violence towards women".
