Deep mark has been left on the heart of Mahaveen Syeda who lost four friends in mosque attack

What we want is a secure, peaceful life. Because Islam is a religion of peace, tolerance and love. That is what we have come to share here and that is what we expect. I don't want me or any other Muslim to be treated specially. We just want to be treated normally. I can't convince everybody [to like me], but I just want to feel secure.

This is the testament of Mahaveen Syeda, a Rotorua woman shaken after losing four friends in the Christchurch mosque shootings last Friday.

Another of her friends lies in hospital after being shot in the chest.

But it is not just her friends she has lost. Her sense of security has close to vanished in a country she chose to live in for its reputation for safety.

Flowers outside the Rotorua Islamic Centre. Photo / File

Friday was an unimaginable day for Syeda who, originally from India, has been living in Rotorua for three years.

She was at work when her manager alerted her to the shooting and she quickly decided it was best to leave early.

"I reached home still clueless of what was happening and just turned the television on.

"I got into a shock just reading more and more news, just wondering how anyone could go into a prayer space and do something like this.

"I can imagine it happening in my country but that is the reason I have come here."

Having left her phone in her husband's car that morning, she became frantic, not being able to contact anyone she knew.

A mourner pays his respects in front of the Al Noor Mosque in Christchurch. Photo / File

Tears were a constant feature on her cheeks as the night drew on and while her children couldn't stand to be in another room she also found it hard to sleep until the early hours of Saturday.

"It is like a deep mark in my heart.

"Not even in my dream I could imagine this happening here."

As the sun rose and as she questioned whether it was safer to go back to her country, Syeda went to do her weekly grocery shop.

It was there, in between a tearful moment with a friend in the carpark, that she found some relief through caring and loving hands.

"All of a sudden I saw this lady passing by and she came closer and gave me a hug. She said, 'we are sorry, we are with you'."

"When a country welcomes you and then says those words, it really matters.

"It shows people believe in humanity. It is alive in their hearts, it is not dead."

Mahaveen Syeda was so traumatised she couldn't sleep after the attack on two Christchurch mosques on Friday. Photo / Stephen Parker

Violence is not unfamiliar to Syeda, who had spent time in Saudi Arabia, and although it was an adjustment moving to a western country she was grateful her sons, aged 16 and 8, could experience life so distant to the one she once lived.

Since living in Rotorua, Syeda said she hadn't felt fear like she did over the weekend but she was familiar with the feeling of being discriminated against.

"It's human nature. You have to be optimistic when it comes to this sort of thing because it is their country and you have to have a big heart to let anybody come in.

"You can't please everybody ... but there should be a height of tolerance and if you can't take it then you have to have a clear talk with your Government, not where it is at the cost of someone's life."

Mourners paying their respects at a makeshift memorial at the Botanical Gardens in Christchurch. Photo / File

Funerals are now under way for the first of the 50 shooting victims, with a father and son farewelled together being among those buried yesterday .

By yesterday afternoon 21 bodies had been released to families.

Syeda will make her way to Christchurch tomorrowfor the burials of her friends but said this event had only made her courageous.

"This cannot stop me from going to the mosque.

"His main motive was people to be afraid, he wanted people to have that fear from entering the mosque but it is not going to hinder me.

"We have to be strong."

A donation of $2350 was made to Victim Support's Christchurch Shooting Victims Fund after Saturday night's vigil in Rotorua.

At the vigil, held at Te Papaiouru Marae at Ohinemutu, a collection on the night raised $1153 - then the amount was matched by the Rotorua Trust.

Another gathering, a multicultural vigil and reflection for the community, will begin at 2.30pm tomorrow.

As the prayer time for Muslims is 2pm on Friday the vigil will give people a chance for prayers before they make their way to the Lakefront.

Kaumātua Monty Morrison will MC and the vigil will have a minute of silence, Muslim funeral prayer, the New Zealand national anthem, and a haka.

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern acknowledged yesterday that many people wanted to support Muslims to return to their mosques, and to mark a week since the massacre.

She said there will be a two-minute silence tomorrow.The call to prayer will also be broadcast on Radio NZ and TVNZ.

Multicultural vigil
Where: The Village Green
When: Friday, March 22 from 2.30pm to 3.30pm
Bring a candle
Rain or shine