Supermarkets across the nation are at risk of going into lockdown as demand for Lewis Road Whittaker's chocolate milk continues to soar. Due to consumer greed, armed troops have been rushed in from around the country to restore law and order.
Security guards watching supermarket fridges containing the highly sought-after drink, have proved to be ineffective against the mass ambush of desperate shoppers. Queues of apparently undernourished souls and the usual scalpers are camped outside the doors for nights on end with hundreds, lined up along the street and around the corner in many centres.
Whittaker's staff are going like the clappers, pumping out upwards of 20,000 litres a week but can't keep up with demand. Funny thing is that in a few weeks the product will sit on the shelf like all the rest beside it. That's greed for you.
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Visiting a rest home for the elderly has become a risky business, so it appears. For several years, whenever I enter the doors of such places to do my work, I am asked to sign the contractors' book and again when leaving.
With various people wandering the corridors, that's the way it has to be. But having now to watch a Health and Safety DVD is a little over the top I would have thought. The five-minute screening, reminds all those who enter that the premises are deemed to be a safe environment and they must abide by the rules and regulations specified. In the event of an earthquake, tsunami or volcanic eruption, contractors must make themselves aware of the nearest exit to where they are working. Also, should any potential hazard come to their notice, they are asked to report the incident to the reception desk so management can take the appropriate steps to rectify the matter.
While I welcome the business that these places provide, the whole Health and Safety palaver does have me scratching my head a little. Such precautions are vital in high-risk places such as steelworks and dockyards, but in a rest home where the elderly sit or lie quietly during their stay, apart from evacuation in case of fire, surely there is little else that could go drastically wrong.
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Insurance giant State Insurance is advising clients that all but one of its 22 regional offices nationwide are about to close. Hardly surprising. The last few times I've gone into my local State Insurance office the friendly staff have not been equipped to deal with my claims or inquiries, but they do take money. Instead, I have been asked to use the phone "over there in the corner", where the efficient but usually heavily accented assistant has guided me through the procedure. That's progress, I guess, being a whole heap different to the old days when you queued at the counter in the purpose-built four-storey State Insurance building around the corner.
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How would you react if you received an email from an old friend on the other side of the world who needs urgent help? Here is a desperate plea that appeared on my inbox the other morning:
- - Original Message - - From: M (abbreviated name)
Sent: (date, To: undisclosed-recipients: Subject: SOS!
Sorry for the inconveniences, I am in Limassol, Cyprus. I am here for a week and I just misplaced my bag containing all my vital items, phone and money at the Bus station. I need a little help from you. Thanks M
Immediately I shot an email with a cut and paste of the letter to our friend and his wife, using their original email address. They replied saying that they're nowhere in the vicinity of Cyprus (and never have been), but tucked up safely in their South Devon cottage. Surprise, surprise, their address book had been hacked and the begging letter was a scam. After re-setting their password, and spending the morning answering phone calls and replying to a long string of emails re the hacking, the matter is now sorted. So if you ever get such a letter from a friend in distress, do a few checks before throwing out a lifeline in the form of a funds transfer. It's a nasty world out there.
• Brian Holden has lived in Rotorua for most of his life and has recently celebrated 10 years' writing And Another Thing.