Anger and sadness over Christchurch attack turns to Kiwi pride for Rotorua immigrant family

Scion biochemist Ali Nazmi has spent the last week processing sadness, fear, depression, anger, and more recently, moments of clarity.

He moved to Rotorua two and a half years ago with his Polish wife and young daughter who was born in Christchurch where they previously lived for five years.

Ali Nazmi with his wife Anna and child Aria, 5. Photo / Stephen Parker

The couple moved to New Zealand from Germany and arrived just after the February 2011 earthquake.

"I already had my new job secured, so it was hard to know what to do. But when we moved we saw such a sense of whānau, people coming together. I can feel that healing feeling coming back now too. People thought we were crazy for coming to the city, but they appreciated it because so many people were moving out.

They had initially come to visit Nazmi's brother, who worked as an army doctor in Canterbury.

"We fell in love with the loving and caring people. Nobody cared what race or religion we were."

They never expected such violence to hit "so close to home".

Nazmi, who is Iranian, knew there were some hateful people in New Zealand, but that they were scarce.

"Christchurch was the first place I had ever seen people with exposed swastika tattoos."

At work, he develops bioplastics using forestry waste.

"On Tuesday and Wednesday, I felt on the verge of a breakdown. I had this proposal due and I was just sitting, sort of staring at my computer. I went to my boss and said I needed time to mourn and reflect."

Rotorua vigil for victims of the Christchurch terror attack. Photo / Caroline Fleming

He has begun to feel a growing sense of appreciation for New Zealand's response to the terror attack, and for Jacinda Ardern's leadership.

"Friends and colleagues have all been so supportive. At work people just come up and give me a hug or give me a pat on the back. This is one of the most horrible things that ever happened to us, but it has made me determined to make changes for the better, to get more involved in the community and show more kindness and love."

Nazmi has also decided he will now call himself a Kiwi, rather than an Iranian immigrant when people ask him where he is from.

He wants to help his fellow Kiwis understand what it's like to be in an ethnic minority here.

"We need to get rid of casual racism and help people understand there is no reason to be afraid of someone of another colour. So many people just don't realise what white privilege is.

"They have not grown up in a country in war, where the police cannot or do not protect you, where you have to hide who you are to be able to spend time with your girlfriend, where there is not freedom of speech or religion. You have to know what you have and be grateful for it, or people will take it from you."

He doesn't consider himself religious, but he does believe in living peacefully and has tried to demonstrate this to his daughter, now age 5.

"It has been really hard to explain the Christchurch shootings to her when we are trying to bring her up without any bias."