Parenting: Being a mum the best of life changes

HAPPY FAMILIES: Giving good attention is far more effective than criticisin.g TWH 16Dec11 - htw131211sp09 HAPPY FAMILIES: Giving good attention is far more effective than criticising. DP

If anyone had asked me two years ago how I envisaged parenthood I would have probably said nappy changes, constant feeds and lots of crying (from everyone). And while that was certainly the case for the first couple of weeks (I blame the hormone shift for my tears) there is a lot about parenthood that no one could have prepared me for.

I don't think it matters how many books you read, websites you consult or people you talk to, becoming a parent is something that changes your dynamic forever and in ways you didn't imagine.

In life before children (BC) I was quite self-centred. I can happily admit it now because I can see how it was the case.

I was driven to swim, bike and run and while the hours I partook in these activities fluctuated somewhat in terms of time, you could guarantee that at least 12 hours a week would be spent by me exercising. Even while pregnant I swam at least four hours a week and walked/ran as much as my body would allow.

These days I'm happy if I can get a reasonable night's sleep and awake to a 5am alarm for a before-work run - usually timing my sweaty arrival home before my toddler wakes up.

After-work activities are limited to a run around in the garden - though daylight saving may mean a trade-off of mountainbiking with solo parenting (so we can both enjoy an evening activity).

I do a lot more reading than before, but then, Hairy Maclary and The Gruffalo weren't high on my reading list BC. I'd heard of Hairy but couldn't tell you his companions' names.

Now I can recite the books, which has its uses when all my toddler wants to do is turn the pages back and forth.

That's not to say I don't get my own reading done. It's nothing like the first three weeks of my maternity leave when I could read a James Patterson novel in one and a half days, but it's also nothing like the first three months when I considered it a win to read a magazine feature uninterrupted.

I'm reading the same adult-focused books as I once did and I make a point of reading a couple of chapters a night.

I've been told that grocery bills increase when your children start solids and I have to say we go through a lot of cereal, cheese and yoghurt.

I feel blessed to have a child who will eat just about anything. We have our mealtime battles but most of the time he will eat what he's given and quite often ask for more. I wonder where he puts it all, but we all know where it goes - he's still in nappies after all.

Our boy is at an age where he's more child than baby, and while I'm sad at the loss of the times he would fall asleep in my arms, or nap for hours on end during the day, I am embracing his growth.

We have a chatterbox, his vocabulary amazes me - airplane was one of his first words - and while we're only getting one word at a time for the most part, he is still able to communicate his wants, needs, desires and observations quite eloquently.

This growth appears to happen overnight, much like his height and hair length seemed to grow just last night - I swear he's a lot bigger than the night before.

He can run around and loves to be chased. Of course movement has its own challenges and many parents child-proof their homes for such an occasion. So far all we've done is wall-mount our TV and stereo and create a fenced in area in the split level lounge.

No one could have prepared me for the joy you get from giggles as you play peek-a-boo under a blanket, or from jumping up and down (like a frog), or tickling. Or the smile you get from watching your child conquer something that has challenged them for days, or from when they run towards you with their arms wide open ready to give you a cuddle.

These are things that are free, yet priceless.

Yes, I was prepared for nappies, tears and interrupted sleep. Nappies are still a constant, tears happen at least once every day and interrupted sleep is unpredictable but thankfully uncommon.

But I will always love my little boy and he will always (no matter what he may say when he's older) love me and his dad.