I've been on a radical diet most of my life.

My plan isn't igniting the internet or blowing out the bestseller list. I don't know if many people are getting rich from selling my scheme.

It lacks a catchy title.

It provides no quick results.


Celebrities aren't tripping over their Balenciaga shoes to peddle this plan.

It involves eating healthy food (mostly) and moving.

Like I said - radical.

I could be doing the ketogenic diet, where I'd subsist on sour cream and air. I'd drink mostly my own tears or water.

Basically, the keto diet says vodka and soda