Casey Sharp has started a Narcotics Anonymous group in Waihi. Photo / Rebecca Mauger
When Casey Sharp picked up a needle after more than four years of being clean she crashed her car and ended up in jail.
It was a disappointing end to four years and nine months of being sober and drug-free.
But she knew the circumstances which led to her using again — feeling unworthy, distancing herself from others and not reaching out for help.
''That's something I have come to learn. I go through the same feelings. I help others, but I don't feel worthy of asking for help. I never feel I belong anywhere.''
That was one night and all it took to hit rock bottom. Sharp has been clean since.
''I'm not scared of falling off the wagon again because I have a healthy fear of drugs. I have lost so much because of it.''
Sharp, from Waikino, has started a Narcotics Anonymous group in Waihī. There's a need for one in her community, she says.
Sharp's path to self-destruction began she was young. She ultimately suffered self-esteem problems, which plagued her adult life.
She was just 8 when she had her first cup of wine. That day she had poured her brother a cup of wine but downed it herself. She then got hold of a bottle of spirits and swigged from it.
''I remember clothes-lining myself by running straight into the tent guide rope.''
Sharp spent most of her youth in South Auckland. Moving to another school around age 13 meant disruption for her.
''I had no friends. Boys liked me, so the girls hated me. I just never felt like I fitted in anywhere.''
Not belonging or fitting in has always been a constant feeling.
Sharp drank whenever the opportunity arose. She drank for years without people noticing the true extent of her problem.
''I would babysit for people and get into their liquor cabinet.''
She also got access to drugs such as speed and acid.
A drinking incident at school resulted in her running away from home at 14. She met a boy at the train station and started a journey of abusive relationships.
''The next 10 years were a whole lot of permanent decisions based on temporary feelings.
I did whatever I felt like. I had babies, I crashed cars — to this day I've crashed every car I've owned.''
She tried meth and recalls feeling calm and relaxed.
Her only hiatus from drink and drugs was during pregnancy and breastfeeding her babies. Sharp says she was clean throughout her four pregnancies. But the cycle repeated. She started injecting up to 4g of meth a day.
''It gave me a sense of ease and comfort. It's a whole body experience. There was also an excitement in it for me, doing what I shouldn't be doing. Sneaking around. Having control of one thing in your life.''
Near the end of her drug use, things were getting ugly. She had veins blow up from injecting and was hospitalised.
''I was using as much as I could rather than having to sit in my own skin. I didn't worry about death.''
Sharp has massive regrets, especially where her children are concerned. She says they love her and support her sobriety.
''It's an amazing feeling to wake up and know where I have been. I don't wake up feeling remorse and guilt, knowing I have been out and spent our food money, our mortgage money ... when I did that I would go out and make myself feel better again. It's the cycle of addiction.''
Starting a Narcotics Anonymous group in Waihī has helped her immensely.
''Nobody gets me like in NA or AA,'' she says. ''No one else gets it.''
Sharp started the group, which has an amended version of the 12-step principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.
But there's a difference between the two addictions, she says.
''Addicts have their own experience. It is not relatable to alcoholics. I've started this group as there's such a need out there, in Waihī. You have no idea.''
Need for support services
Waihī Community Resource Centre manager and counsellor Jan Smeaton says there is a need for services and support programmes in Waihī.
''In our work, we experience regular and constant requests for assistance with alcohol and narcotic use. Anecdotally, we hear that meth is readily accessible locally and that there is a steady increase in its use.
''We know that meth use underpins many of the family harm incidents we respond to and that its use contributes to criminal activity, relationship breakdown, and family stress. People are often reluctant to speak up about meth use because of legal issues and the stigma associated with its use.''
Waihī Community Resource Centre is not contracted or funded to provide drug and alcohol services. But the centre can make the necessary referrals to either the mental health and addictions service or to Te Korowai Hauora O Hauraki. Professionals travel to Waihī to meet these needs.
The centre's team can support people into rehab.
''We endeavour to ensure that all other appropriate wraparound services are available to meet the needs of the person requesting help and their family/whānau. We also provide information about appropriate support groups.''
Meth is easily the most popular illicit drug consumed in New Zealand
New Zealanders spend nearly $1.4 million on methamphetamine every single day, according to drug testing of wastewater.
Results from the National Wastewater Testing Programme from November 2018 to January 2019 shows methamphetamine remains the most commonly detected illicit drug nationwide, with about 16kg consumed on average each week.
The report said detected average methamphetamine use translates to about $20 million per week in social harm.
Annually, this could equate to more than $1 billion. Methamphetamine use is most prevalent per capita in the Northland, Eastern and Bay of Plenty police districts.
Narcotics Anonymous
NA is a global non-profit fellowship, but it is not a religious programme. Groups are run by the group, no one person facilitates.
The Waihī group meets every Tuesday night from 7pm-8pm at the Waihī Community Resource Centre. The meetings are for anyone affected by drug addiction. There is no requirement to be clean.
The 12 steps are adapted for drug addiction. Meetings are based on release through sharing and identification with others.
For help with addiction
Te Korowai Hauora O Hauraki-Thames - 0508 835 676
Adult Mental Health and Addictions Services - 834 6902
Waihī Community Resource Centre (for referral) - 863 7555
Bay of Plenty Mental Health and Addiction Services crisis team - 0800 800 508
Alcohol Drug Helpline - phone 0800 787 797
After nearly three weeks of evidence, counsel have begun delivering closing statements.