Now look, some things matter and some things don't. By which I mean, of course, that some things matter to me, and since this is my column in which mattering to me is the sole criterion for mattering at all, things that matter to me matter.
The idea can be expressed in Latin: si Josepho coelo magni momenti est. Which translates literally back as: "if to Joe then to the heavens of great significance is." And if you don't think that's poetry I despair of you and if you think that's the end of showing off for today I pity