Whangārei man defends sexual and physical charges relating to alleged abuse of five ex-partners

A man is on trial for the alleged sexual and physical abuse of five of his ex-partners. Photo / 123rf

WARNING: This article discusses allegations of sexual abuse and may be upsetting to some readers.

A woman who moved to New Zealand for love allegedly found herself in an abusive relationship with a man who threatened to cut her throat and throw her into a river.

“He said he had police friends so they would be happy to cover it up and no one would even care anyway,” the complainant said in evidence at the trial of her ex-boyfriend.

The man, who cannot be named, has been defending 33 charges of sexual and physical violence relating to five female complainants in the High Court at Whangārei since last week.

Between 2000 and 2015, the man had consecutive relationships and fathered children with each woman.

The trial is being held in the High Court at Whangārei.

Four of the women alleged they were repeatedly raped while in a relationship with him and some have reported physical abuse, including being hit, thrown or punched.

Two of the women gave similar evidence last week, both alleging abusive incidents with the man, which they claimed were around his need for sex.

On Friday, a third complainant gave evidence about her brief but allegedly torturous relationship with the 43-year-old man.

She said she met him in an overseas pub while he was on a business trip and kept in touch with him after he returned to New Zealand.

The woman eventually moved to Ruakākā, Whangārei, so they could be together.

But she alleged that within three weeks of arriving, he became aggressive and demanding, specifically in his need for sex.

“It became a duty. It was no longer about the two of us, it was more about appeasing him,” she said.

At the time, the man’s young daughter lived with them, and the woman alleged he did not care if their bedroom door was open while they had sex.

On one occasion, they were staying at a friend’s house and the woman refused to have sex with him.

She claimed that on their way home, while his daughter was seated between them, he called the woman a b**** and a whore.

The woman accepted she had choices when the man allegedly demanded sex.

“I could either do what he wanted or be threatened and abused verbally, so that was my choice,” she said in evidence.

“The easier choice was to just give him what he wanted.”

The woman claimed she was only allowed to talk to two of her friends, that he checked her phone regularly, and she felt helpless and alone in New Zealand.

“Four months felt like a year; that was the longest four months of my life,” she said.

The woman said she was clear with the man that she did not want to have children and was upset when she quickly fell pregnant.

“The day I found out, I was scared and did not want this,” she told the court.

They later argued because she refused to have sex, and she told him again that she did not want to have the children she was carrying.

“He made it very clear, if I did anything to harm my children, he would cut my throat. This happened on numerous occasions,” she alleged.

“That was always my stance. I didn’t want to have children.”

The woman told the court the threats to kill were numerous and often made in front of his daughter, and he allegedly kept a knife under one of their bed pillows.

Defence lawyer Martin Hislop put to the woman that the defendant had threatened to cut his own throat, not hers, and that the knife was used to fix his Xbox.

“I do not accept that,” she responded.

After returning to her home overseas, around her 20th week of pregnancy, the woman discovered that the man had moved on with another woman.

“He forced me to carry these babies to term. My whole life had changed trajectory and he was happy to move on,” she said.

The judge-alone trial before Justice Rebecca Edwards continues.

Shannon Pitman is a Whangārei-based reporter for Open Justice covering courts in the Te Tai Tokerau region. She is of Ngāpuhi/ Ngāti Pūkenga descent and has worked in digital media for the past five years. She joined NZME in 2023.