Chances are some time in this crazy Covid-19 situation we all find ourselves in, you'll end up in isolation.
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It happened to Mrs P and me early last week.
My beloved had had contact with a person who wasn't feeling too crash hot so sensible precautions were enacted and tests were undertaken.
Thankfully, the tests proved negative but for a 24-hour period we found ourselves locked in at home communicating with what seemed to be a never-ending stream of visitors through a closed ranch slider.
Funnily enough we were talking just the other week about how we hadn't seen so and so in a while, you know how it is.
That they chose that particular day to re-enter our lives, only to be rebuffed at the front window is the stuff of great irony.
Anyway, there we were. Both feeling fit as a fiddle. Stuck at home together for what could be 14 days. What were we to do?
For me, a 56-year-old with still enough hormones flowing in the right direction imprisoned with the love of my life it was a no brainer: "Cuddles". And if isolation meant 14 days of the said practice then you'd get no argument from me.
She responded with the usual sensible level-headedness and dismissed my suggestion with an eye roll that showed she'd heard it all before. Many times in fact.
Then she proposed we use the time to catch up on house cleaning, bookwork, sorting the cupboards, emailing those friends we'd just turned away at the door, gardening etc.
Having already shown the direction of my thoughts I figured if I was going to go down I may as well go down in flames big time.
"How about we do those things while we're naked?" I said, suggesting it would help ease the tension, be a bit of giggle and probably scare the bejeezus out of the next courier driver that arrived with our latest online purchase.
Again I was rebuffed. This time it came via a quick smile and then one of those looks that suggested it was a nice try but randy 56-year-olds could find themselves in solitary confinement rather than simple homestay isolation if they continued down that road.
I'm sure there are a lot of blokes out there who know that smile. And that look.
So that was it really. I continued with my normal work-from-home routine and Mrs P pottered around the house, tidying up here and there, doing a bit of bookwork, gardening, buying unnecessary items online etc etc.
We did get to binge on a box set of telly programmes later and we formulated our plan for what we will do if this thing gets really bad. Stuff like keeping in contact with the kids, planning for food purchases etc. Like we all should.
And if you're wondering, Mrs P kept her kit on the whole day.
She says she understands my desire to inject some levity into a tense time for us all but has implored me to keep my wobbly bits in check.
By way of compromise I've agreed to only exercise the prerogative when I feel this whole coronavirus emergency has become a bit overwhelming and we need something to put a little smile on our dial. Just for a moment.
It could happen at any time.
Perhaps even when I'm sitting here at my computer writing this very column.
Now that's got you thinking hasn't it?
• Kevin Page is a teller of tall tales with a firm belief too much serious news gives you frown lines. Feel free to share stories to email@example.com .