We don't really do Halloween in New Zealand.
Well, maybe the odd kid being escorted by their parents around the less creepy neighbours, or perhaps been chauffeured to tolerant friends and family but generally there is something of an anti-Halloween view in New Zealand. We feel it's American.
And you have to admit they 'go all out'. Personally, I get jealous of their fantastical US Halloween fancy dress parties. Ironic themes seem increasingly to be the flavour of the beast.
We've all seen the jarring images of Americans dressing up as Donald Trump or OJ Simpson over the years. More recently public enemies such as Harvey Weinstein have turned up as shocker costumes.
If we were to embrace this annual ritual of parodying the shocking and notorious in New Zealand, what would one come as? I have a few suggestions.
Brian Tamaki springs immediately to mind. Slicked–back dyed hair, gold watch, leather jacket, some car salesman shoes and a loud hailer would meet the brief.
Judith Collins would be an alternative – blonde (or to be right up to date brunette) blow wave meets boutique overpriced scarf, meets stubbornly persistent back to the future shoulder pads, and perhaps a Dictionary of NZ slang under her arm (see 'Big fat …liar/hypocrite').
On the theme of the National Party, one could go as Simon Bridges with a smarmy naughtily just below the collar 70s brown wig, reminiscent of those guys from sometime top of the pops US band Bread.
If you want to go for an inanimate object you could dress as a bottle of hand sanitiser - with a dispenser head and a plastic pouch of jello. How about as a villain–Covid virus –generally depicted in the media as spiky, orange and spherical – a beach balloon with some craftwork might make the grade.
Like the edgy costumes of the past – the likes of Rolf Harris with paintbrush didgeridoo and in handcuffs - all the good ones for to me are teetering on the edge of bad taste.
I guess that the themes of Halloween are the only time of the year that you can get away with things that are normally taboo or maybe this remains 'just in America'.
In New Zealand, it seems we still have a clearer sense of right and wrong. Of what's acceptable and what isn't, although opinions can vary massively in Godzone - as we are currently only too aware.
This won't stop me from checking out the extremes that are flaunted in the USA – I see speculation already rife about how to do a Kim Kardashian in an all in one face and bodysuit, a la the Metro Gala.
Squid Game outfits are also quite de jour this year - don't know how flattering either will be.
I may stick to my realistically spooky latex unicorn head again this year - but whatever you pull together and however this odd celebration evolves this year – let's keep enjoying these festivities however we can – at whatever level we might be living.
It's a signpost that we are on that rollercoaster to the end of the year – Christmas, summer and hopefully a communal celebration – however weird that might look this year. Stay safe, stay spooky.
• Jonny Wilkinson is the chief executive of Tiaho Trust - Disability A Matter of Perception, a Whangārei based disability advocacy organisation.