The 10-year-olds' grizzly humour nearly put our die-hard scallop lover off her food.
The 10-year-olds' grizzly humour nearly put our die-hard scallop lover off her food.
You can always count on a couple of 10-year-olds and their toilet humour to put you off some long-awaited kai moana.
I suppose I can't talk – I never grew out of it myself, but would prefer them not to dissect the scallops piece by piece after I've sat downto tuck in.
They were in good spirits after a fun day on the water. Miss Ten, our resident hunter-gatherer, caught the only fish of the day – a sizable snapper – and, it being the start of the season, the scallops were aplenty.
We'd also anchored near a strange sighting; a large white object that looked like an upturned dingy but was attracting lots of boats, including large fishing trawlers, which were circling so those on board could inspect and take photos.
The hovering birds indicated it was once alive and the twins soon lost interest in fishing and were begging to up-anchor and carry out their own inspection. After some scrutiny of the object, we were also dumbfounded.
Yes, it had once been alive but whether it was a dolphin or an orca or something else, we couldn't tell. It drew a lot of attention that busy day on the water, whatever it was. We were soon homeward bound with our dinner.
This Side of Life writer, Jodi Bryant.
I set about cooking up this fine fare and called the twins in for their scallop entrée (their older brother is not a seafood fan).
But it soon became apparent the twins weren't overly keen either. While I began hoofing back my scallops they cut theirs into pieces and slid each body part into its own pile.
"No, what if it's still pulsing," replied the other.
With my mouth full of scallop, my stomach lurched.
"Look at the size of that poo," giggled one, pointing to the other's plate.
"Ewww, I think it actually may have sharted!"
If you don't know what a shart is, don't bother looking it up if you don't want to be put off scallops.
My dad was one hard-core fisherman and we grew up on sea food. It had never occurred to me to question what I was actually eating. Trust them to ruin it for me.
I sent them off and gave their discarded scallop body parts to the cat before conducting some serious mind over matter to finish off my own entrée.
