A few weeks ago when I touched on the issue of getting in and out of the car, I discovered from your responses that I am far from alone in this matter. Quite a number
Wyn Drabble: Motoring – the ins and outs
Car entry for older folk: open door (and it's terribly encouraging that you've already got this far) then look around to see whether anyone is watching. If the coast is clear, follow these steps.
1. Extend left foot into car. 2. You're still standing and your right leg and body are outside the vehicle in full public gaze. The next step is an interesting one I have developed over the past few years. Take a little hop to the left to get the rest of your body closer to the car. This sounds energetic but it's not that difficult and you can guarantee that it will, without fail, make you look really stupid.
3. Now you need to swivel your torso, extending your butt into a position just above the front seat. This is called the hovering butt stage.
4. Freefall. This is the easiest step because no effort is required. Gravity does all the work.
5. After landing safely, haul the right leg into the vehicle and you are set to go, except for one problem – that is not your car.
6. Repeat steps 1 to 5 in the correct car.
Exiting the car for younger folk: open door, get out.
Exiting car for older folk: I feel most will agree with me that this is more difficult than the entry. You should start the mental preparation during your drive so that, when your journey is over, having to get out is not too much of a shock.
Right, you've done the mental preparation. Now, follow these steps.
1. Don't look around to see whether anyone is watching because you've got to look after your neck. You just need to accept that people might witness your exit.
2. Open the door and brace yourself.
3. Extend right foot out of the car and plant it firmly in the puddle you have parked beside (you shouldn't have worn those shoes). Swivel the butt and place left foot beside the right.
4. Now comes the tricky bit. You need to use both your hands as pivotal anchor points. These will provide what I shall euphemistically call your exit thrust. One hand on the steering wheel and one on the door pillar of the car generally works for me. 5. Muster up all the energy you have and push.
6. Grunt.
7. Repeat steps 5 and 6. Take care. Remember, you've just had your shoulder done. If a crowd has gathered, just smile and wave (but not with one of your pivotal anchor hands – you'll have to use a different one).
8. Come on now. One final push and you're there. At last, you're safely in the shopping centre carpark! Trouble is, of course, you've forgotten what you came for.
If you feel the young are laughing at your efforts, just remember one important thing; your car is fully paid off and theirs has due payments stretching into the distant mists of time. By the time they've paid it off, they'll probably be ready for this handy guide I've just written.