Tweeter 1: Bad boy 1 to Bad Boy 2.
Tweeter 2: What do you want bald-head?
Tweeter 1: Now that's no way to talk to your club-mate. Just wanted to say congratulations on your start against the Boks.
Tweeter 2: You better not be pulling my tit!
Tweeter 1: Ha, ha, very funny ... I've put that little incident behind me, and the team have pulled together.
Tweeter 2: Hope Scotland beat you, and you get chucked out of the Cup!
Tweeter 1: No hope of that mate. We've been watching cage fighting to psyche up.
Tweeter 2: You guys are soft. We'd smash you if we got the chance. But those IRB ... fellas ... they'd probably give us a two-day turnaround. Did you ever read Pedagogy of the Oppressed?
Tweeter 1: What?
Tweeter 2: Well if you had, imagine my people ruling the rugby world. We'd give your team a one-day turnaround, and kick your arse!
Tweeter 1: Old man, it's the IRB who make the rules, not our team. I agree it's not the perfect model.
Tweeter 2: You keep away from the models and concentrate on the missus. I'm going to pray for you and your missus.
Tweeter 1: Thanks mate. Do you think you can take the Boks?
Tweeter 2: What? You know how they called Brian Lima the chiropractor. Well tomorrow there's going to be 15 chiropractors running around North Harbour Stadium. Woohoo! Springbok-heads!
Tweeter 1: Sounds good mate. What do you think of Wales? We could meet them in the semi-final.
Tweeter 2: If they can hold off Fiji. Show some respect to my pacific brothers. You'll be meeting us in the semi-final. That's my pick. And I'm going to smash you!
Tweeter 1: Big ask for Fiji to pick up a win, let alone a win with a bonus point. Wales have looked good.
Tweeter 2: Yeah, real good on a seven day turnaround. You should read Pedagogy of the Oppressed!
Tweeter 3: Bad Boy 3 to Bad Boy 1 and 2.
Tweeter 1: Piss off!
Tweeter 2: Yeah Zac. You're not bad enough. A few drinks after a test match loss - woohoo!.
Tweeter 1: Point taken about Wales, Bad Boy 2, but I think they will be too strong for Fiji.
Tweeter 2. Whatever! You should be worrying about Scotland. I'll worry about South Africa. I can already see my try featuring a dive with more complexity than Izzy Dagg's freaky hand puppet celebration. The dog meows. What's that all about? Dickhead!. We will be on our way!
Tweeter 1: But to play who? Italy could beat Ireland.
Tweeter 2: Mate, you are doing my head in.
Tweeter 1: Fair call. Let's just see how the weekend goes. Soft landings bro!
Tweeter 2: You keep away from those soft landings. Concentrate on the missus. I will pray for you.
* These Tweets weren't actually done by these twits.
Grant Harding is the deputy editor of Hawke's Bay Today. He is a former editor of New Zealand Rugby News and New Zealand Rugby World magazines, and produced Sky Sport's Re:Union between 2000 and 2006.
